I didn’t know this version of him. He seemed distant, professional, probably trying to mimic how I had acted toward him. He actually seemed a little worried. Dammit if it didn’t make me want to hug him. This was what being around him did to my brain. It made me all touchy-feely.
“No. Don’t. It really would be fantastic for the Lodge. And for Outside the Box.”
“Right. Yeah.” He nodded looking at the ground.
“You have a life and family in Colorado, I’m sure. A completely professional relationship would be for the best,” I emphasized again.
“Of course.”
I kept myself very still, my face purposely blank. I knew this was for the best. I knew I couldn’t risk being around him, not when he spoke so openly and sweetly. It was like asking a kleptomaniac to house-sit, I couldn’t be tempted like that.
“For this MooreTek business. I have everything planned. There are a few afternoons free where you can schedule in your activities.” I shifted from foot to foot. “I will email you the itinerary and you can go from there,” I said.
“Wait, what? Vincent just told us to stick together like glue.”
“I know what he said. But I work better alone. Plus, it’s better for you. Think of this as a group project and all you have to do is show up and get the grade.” I fixed my bangs when a breeze blew through them.
As I spoke, his smile slipped off his face. I steeled myself. This was all for the greater good.WWSWSD?
He ran his hands through his hair, looking like he was debating on saying something.
Finally, making up his mind, he said, “Sure. I understand. See ya around.” He turned and headed back to the Lodge.
When he was out of sight, I leaned against a tree to catch my breath. I pressed my hand to my chest hoping to calm my racing heart. I hadn’t expected it to be so hard to set this line in the sand. I wanted to do the right thing for both of us, so why did it feel so wrong?
Chapter 11
Sanders
My hands shook with unidentifiable emotion as I walked away from Roxy but my smile remained carefully in place. Roxy was struggling with something and needed time. So while I wanted to go back and wrap her in a hug, the smartest thing was to show her I could be patient and respect her wish for boundaries.
Stupid boundaries.
I hated that she was pushing me away. My appearance had not been the happy reunion I’d been hoping for, but Vincent had told us to work together. To tell me she worked better alone was a flimsy excuse to not be around me. I understood it but I didn’t like it.
All joking with Skip aside, I would and could be patient. I would never push myself on her. If friendship was what she needed, then that’s what I would offer. Better to be in her life as a friend than not at all.
Acid churned in my stomach and up my esophagus. What had I eaten? I’d not had anything but eggs and avocado this morning and yet my insides rioted like I’d gone crazy at a six-dollar buffet. I was feeling restless, talking with Roxy had done little to quell the energy. And in fact I was feeling … frustrated? And maybe hurt. I needed to burn off some energy. I needed to get out and clear my head. I hated feeling pointless emotions. Just push that shit aside and move on.
What I needed was to go for an invigorating hike and brainstorm some ideas for MooreTek. I’d present a thorough list to Roxy when we met; I’d be the most professional business partner she’d ever worked with. I wouldn’t try to touch her every possible second. I wouldn’t find ways to get close enough to breathe her in. I would be the best fucking mate she didn’t know she needed.
I hurried back to my room to quickly change into hiking boots because the sky was blanketed in heavy gray clouds and my weather app warned of a storm later.
“Argh,” I yelled into the room as soon as I shut the door behind me.
“Everything okay?” a voice from the corner asked.
“Shit!” I yelled, jumping and clutching my heart. “Skip!”
He laughed. “Sorry.” He was opening a suitcase on the second bed. “Didn’t think my face was that scary.”
“It really is.” I grinned and stepped toward him. I opened my arms. “But boy am I glad to see that ugly mug.”
He embraced me and I smacked his back before we broke apart. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
He shrugged and looked at the ground. “I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about in Green Valley.”
Maybe I hadn’t sounded as put together as I had thought when we talked. At 2 a.m. Where I had called him in a manic state. Okay, so he was clearly concerned for my ability to handle things for OTB when my heart was in knots.
