“It’s hard when we realize our parents are just people.”
She made a hum of agreement. “So why were you about to go hiking in the dark with another storm blowing in?”
As though hearing her question, the wind picked up and blew her fringe and hair all around her.
“Ah, no reason,” I said.
“Hey.” She kicked my foot. “I showed you mine,” she said with a teasing smile.
I grabbed her feet with mine and gripped her so we faced each other, rocking a little. I couldn’t meet her eyes though.
“Honestly, nothing happened. Not sure why I got so down. Skip was just telling me about this camping trip with Ford and then my dad’s home called. I need to go get his stuff from the care facility.”
“I’m sorry. That must be so hard.”
I rubbed my chest. Above us, heavy gray shapes covered the stars.
“I’m just happy he’s at peace now,” I said. It was my canned answer. She must have sensed that.
“How are you really feeling?”
“I’m fine.” I smiled and released her legs to face away. She didn’t let me. She looped her legs around my thighs, bringing us closer.
The heat, as always, was there in an instant.
“Roxy, I don’t want to talk about this. It’s too ...”
Hard? Depressing? Pointless?
“Who do you talk to about it?” she asked ignoring me.
I rubbed the heartburn from my esophagus.
“I don’t have anything to say. It won’t change anything.” My skin started to itch. Even feeling the weight of her legs on me wasn’t distracting enough.
“It might help you process.” Her legs tightened, not letting me move even an inch. I was being held captive and any other time I would have loved it but I didn’t want to talk about this.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You keep saying that.”
“Because Iamfine. Why don’t you or Skip seem to understand that? I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore,” I said feeling my voice rise despite my attempt to be cool.
“You can be upset. Nobody would blame you. You can feel what you feel.”
The words were too close to the truth I clung to desperately. I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t feel her body on mine. I couldn’t talk about my dad for a second more. I couldn’t sit here feeling like my chest was being pried open and she was gripping my heart in her hands.
I broke out from her grip and stood up.
“Sanders!” she said affronted.
“Roxy, I don’t want to do this.”
“That’s bullshit!” she yelled and I stopped in my retreat and turned back to her.
“What?” I asked feeling sad and defeated.
“You pushed and pushed me. I opened up about things in my past I never wanted to share. I shared with you, Sanders. And you can’t do the same for me? You can’t let me help you?”
