“You’re just scared,” I said. “Your past is telling you that it won’t work but that’s not true.”
“It is true. We haven’t even slept this last week. We’re lucky nothing messed up. We’re lucky the client was happy. I’ve barely spoken to Gretchen since the moment you got to town. And I’m not saying that’s your fault, of course, but my friendship has to come first. My job. I told you what it meant to me. How long could we keep this up?”
“We would find a way,” I said through my teeth.
“I’m not saying we couldn’t. I just—we just need time, okay?”
“I’m serious about us,” I said.
“Let’s not commit to things we can’t promise. You go take care of what you need to. In a few months, we’ll reevaluate.” Her gaze moved over me one last time, shuttered and cold. She walked away leaving me numb and defeated.
“She’s right,” Skip said, snapping me back to the present.
I frowned at him, I didn’t even hear him come up beside me. “What are you talking about? This fixes everything. I thought you’d be happy.”
His fists were balled at his sides. “This fixes nothing. This is you escaping one problem and leaping into something else.”
“I fixed my mistakes. I got us more steady business than we’d ever have in Denver.” Now I was growing angry.
He shook his head at the ground, jaw tense. “What about the team? What about your father? I’m not going to go back there and clean up your mess. I’m done.”
“What mess? It’s fine. Everything is fine.” I rubbed at my chest, acid burning up my throat. This wasn’t how today was supposed to go. Our week with MooreTek had gone great. Roxy got her promotion. Outside the Box had gained new clients. Why was everyone freaking out?
“Sanders,” he softened his voice. “You have to go home. You have to go say goodbye to your father. You have to get his things. You have to close your apartment, if you’re serious about all this. You have to talk with our employees. You can’t just leave people behind.”
I didn’t want to hear this. Why couldn’t we all just move forward? Couldn’t we just … pretend?
“Fine.” I shook my head. “Fine. If everyone wants me to leave so bad, then I’ll go.”
“Sanders, you know we—”
But I waved him off and made my way to my room. I packed my bags and found a flight home. Twelve hours later, I finally walked into my apartment. Just like that, I’d left Green Valley.
My phone chirped with a voicemail from Roxy. I didn’t want to hear it but I forced myself to listen anyway, just like my dad’s messages.
“I heard that you left.” Her voice was soft, making my insides feel shaky. “I’m not happy that you left without a goodbye. I know I was the one who told you to go but … I don’t want you to think it’s because … I loved our time together. I’m telling you this in voicemail because I don’t think I could have said it to your face without breaking down and just asking you to stay.” Her voice wobbled and I shut my eyes. “You had to leave. You said you want to be better, right? This is where you start.
“I have to be better too. You’ve made me want to be better. There’s so much love just pouring out of you. You’re so lovely and passionate and I’m so thankful for our time together. Take care of yourself, Sanders. Okay? Well, that’s all I have to say. I didn’t want to leave things where they were. I’m so thankful for our time together.” Her voice went higher as she fought back emotion. “It’s a lot more than I ever thought I deserved. It was everything to me. I miss you already. Goodbye.”
The message ended. The silence rang out. I blinked around my empty, dark apartment as my heart thudded loudly against my chest. It was like everything came back at once. Being here, a million things I’d been pushing away came crashing down on me like a storm. There were no distractions or adventures anymore. I dropped my bags and fell to my knees. Then the tears came.
Chapter 25
Roxy
Sanders left. I pushed him away because things were moving too fast. Now it was almost nine and I sat stroking the condensation off my beer outside the Lodge bar on the patio. My shift had ended hours ago but I couldn’t force myself to go home where I would be accosted by memories of my time with Sanders. I stared at the sunset wondering how my life had gone from so perfect to unbearably wrong in just a few minutes.
“I’m leaving in the morning.” Skip’s voice pulled me from my woolgathering.
I blinked back the burning in my eyes and looked up at him. “Okay,” I said.
He held a beer and looked freshly showered but the sadness that radiated off him was almost too much. I gestured to the chair next to me.“Join me?”
We sat in silence for a long time. A new ache spread as I realized how much I would miss Skip too. I mourned the lost potential of what could be a really great friendship.
Without thinking, I reached out and squeezed his hand not taking my focus from the tall pines casting us in shadow.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said into his beer.
