9
Julia
It’s him. The guy that was talking to skeezy William that day. He’s the reason I decided to stay. I glare at his hand. If I stare any harder he could catch on fire.
Nathaniel steps in front of him smoothly—once again saving me from unwanted touch—and asks Ken, “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Excuse me,” I mumble.
I collect myself in the bathroom, checking my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are bright and a dewy gleam sparkles along my skin. I can only hope they thought I went too heavy on bronzer. That was too close.
I just had to try impress him—er, them. The team. I don’t even know what took over me. I caught Nathaniel looking at me in a way that sent heat burning through me. Made my heart beat sluggish with desire. He saved me from that handsy drunk guy. It made me want to dance for him even though I knew better. But he had never looked at me that way before.
And then that man, Ken, showed up and it was ice water on my growing emotions. He’s the dark shadow over our contract that I’ve heard so much about. I’d never made the connection that he was one of the guys I’d heard criticizing Nathaniel’s lab. Even though I didn’t trust this Ken it was good he showed up when he had. I was being careless. I felt the glow licking under my skin. I should have never danced like that to begin with.
In the mirror, I swallow down the power ebbing in me. An ache starts at the base of my spine. The color drains from my face like somebody moved a spotlight off me and I’m back to hiding backstage. I feel exhausted but hear Grandma Sue in my head.
Focus on what you know.
That discussion between Ken and William was enough to make me take this job. I wasn’t expecting to see that man so soon or to hear Nathaniel say that he was key to Shemesh-Tek. Had I misread the situation? Let my emotions get the best of me? What did I actually hear that day? William was the one who was being so harsh. What was Ken supposed to do when one of the most powerful men in town criticized a small start-up? It can be hard to stand up to that sort of power. I need to calm down.
I frown at myself. I’m making more out of a situation than is really there. Being too defensive. I’m falling too fast for this team. And for Nathaniel.
I tuck myself into a stall and press a palm to my racing heart. Even thinking of Nathaniel’s look now does magical things to me. My eyes roll closed as I replay the burning heat in his eyes. He was focused on the exposed area of skin near my neck. It made me want to tug my shirt down and lengthen my neck like an offer to a vampire.
I got lost in the moment. High on the impromptu flush of music and dancing. Dancing lights my soul like nothing else. But if I’m being honest with myself, it’s more than that. It’s the closeness I feel for this team after only a few weeks. They feel too much like a family. I feel so welcomed. They were genuinely happy just to see me dance and learn more about me. I forget how freeing it can be to share pieces of your soul with people.
What would I even do with the attentions of someone like Nathaniel? Nothing. I could do nothing. I could and would hurt him. I push down the dreams so fast, I feel sick. Like getting motion sickness, my stomach churns and my head aches. I remind myself it’s better this way. Safer. Taking a deep breath, I wipe my face and go back out to the group.
Thankfully Ken is off chatting with a different group of lab employees. I’m glad to find that Nathaniel has already closed out our tab. He glances up at me and a flash of worry crosses his face before he quickly wipes it away in exchange for his usual easy smile.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod. The rest of our group seems completely unaware of my minor freak-out. We say our goodbyes and head back to my car. Nathaniel stays quiet as I make the short drive back to the building. What had Nathaniel thought of the dance? Did he notice my reaction to Ken?
I’m about to break the silence when he speaks.
“If you’re worried about Ken showing up, don’t be.” I flick a glance to see him watching me with a worried look.
He doesn’t know what I heard. Or what I think I heard.
“Who exactly is Ken?” I ask cautiously.
“He’s the go-between the lab and contracting companies like Shemesh-Tek. He’s not a bad guy but he’s always going to choose the labs first, you know? He took a chance on us when nobody else did.”
“Hmm.” I worry my lip, unsure what to say.
Maybe I remembered the conversation wrong. I decide to let it go but to keep an eye on him. I don’t want Nathaniel to know some bigwig was talking poorly about the team. That won’t help the already strained morale.
“Honestly, I didn’t think he’d come when I invited him. He doesn’t usually do the social stuff.”
Or he could be checking up on us, I think but don’t say. I shut off the engine and turn to him.
Nathaniel clears his throat. “Also, I’m sorry I pushed on the dance thing.” His hands are clasped in his lap and it’s the stillest I’ve ever seen him.
So then my freak out wasn’t totally unnoticed.
“I promise you that wasn’t it. I’m embarrassed that this is the second time you’ve seen me have a—”
