She held my focus, eyes narrowing. She didn’t buy my half-truth for a moment. “I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”Mostly. I am safe. I sighed and gently explained, “I did the ten-year anniversary reunion. I did the theme park opening. I did the behind the scenes for the extended edition box sets. I’ve endured twenty years of interviews and I’m done. I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m just tired.”
“And the fans?” she asked. “It wouldn’t be the same without you there.”
Ugh, her forever trump card. “Twenty years of putting the fans first, I’m putting myself first for once.”
“I know the fans mean more to you than the rest of us. If they didn’t you wouldn’t respond to every single letter you’ve ever received.”
“Well, I don’t get nearly as many as you and Harrison, so it’s not that hard,” I said, sounding pathetically petulant.
She chewed her lip, contemplating a new tactic.
“Would you do it for me?” And there came the puppy dog eyes again, the look that got billionaire tech giants to sign blank checks for her charities.
“Don’t play dirty,” I said.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. Emma thought showing up at my house to ask me personally would break down my defenses. In the past, it would have worked. I told myself time and time again that I wanted to move on, but there was always something more. But not this time. I was serious. I was sober. I had chickens. Things were simple and I was fine. It’s why I wouldn’t tell Kate the truth and why I wouldn’t go to LA. The balance of my life was too precarious. One major change and I fell off the tightrope.
She continued like she was winning me over. “A few days of filming. Couple of convos. And you’re back in your big, lonely home by the end of the week.”
I rubbed my eyes so hard black spots danced across my eyelids. She made it sound so easy. But it wasn’t. It was hours of forced conversation about something incredibly personal to people who don’t know the first thing about what it had been like for Em, Harrison, and me. It was exhausting finding the right amount of giving the information they wanted to pry out of me, while keeping the important things to myself. The other two managed well enough but I’d never been able to.
I cleared my throat and braced myself. I held her gaze. “I’m sorry, Em. Of everybody, you’d know I’d do it for you. But I just can’t. I’m sorry you drove all the way out here.” The coy smile melted off her face as I spoke.
Her delicate features pinched, but she knew me well enough to know when she’d lost.
“Okay.” She reached out her hand and squeezed mine. “Okay, I understand.” Her easy smile was back in place. “But you’re not getting rid of me yet. Let’s play a few rounds?”
I smiled into my teacup. “Yep. Fine. I’ll set up the board.”
“Oh, real quick.” She glanced at her phone, tapping the screen. “Let me get on your Wi-Fi. There’s no damn reception out here—”
She reached for my laptop, which still had all the incriminating tabs of fan fiction and email exchanges wide open for her nosy eyes to see.
I snatched it away from her quickly. I held the computer tightly to my body, causing her to arch an eyebrow at me. She looked at the laptop clutched to my chest, then up to my face, and then back to the laptop.
Her lip pulled in disgust, and she gestured to the computer. “Tell me I didn’t interrupt you …”
“Yep,” I answered instantly. Whatever she thought was much less embarrassing than the truth. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with reading fan fiction. But reading fan fiction about one’s self most definitely did not pass any sort of weird vibe check. “Yep. Loads of porn. Weird shit too.”
“You’re deeply disgusting.” She stood with the shake of her head.
“Wi-Fi password is in my office. I haven’t changed it since the company set it up.”
“Lord, you’re worse than my grandfather.” She grabbed her phone off the counter and headed to the office.
“On the Post-it on my desk,” I said to her retreating form.
“Got your passwords for all your bank accounts there too?”
I frowned. “Maybe.”
“You’re hopeless.”
The second she was out of the room, I opened my laptop and closed out the FanFavz tabs. I had been rereading one of Kate’s earliest stories when my unexpected visitor showed up. I was just closing out my email, getting ready to shut it down completely, when I saw an email from Kate. As always, my heart beat faster at the sight of an unread email from her.
Her subject was all caps “AHH BEST BIRTHDAY EVER” followed by countless exclamation points.
