A soft sniffle caught my attention. My head snapped in the direction of the sound. It came from the set on the other side of the wall.
I silently walked to the connecting doorway of the soundstage and found one of the classroom sets. Another room that felt as familiar to me as a childhood home. I still dreamed about walking through these sets, always relieved to be back but understanding on some level that none of it was real.
Every previous thought vanished and narrowed down to the sight in front of me.
Kate.
She sat at a desk in the middle row, head facing the front of the room where editors would CGI in whatever curriculum we were learning in that scene. She sniffled again, causing my adrenaline to spike.
My fists balled. I would bet my life’s savings that her tosser boyfriend was the cause. I tentatively made my way over to her, clearing my throat so as not to startle her.
She shot up out of the desk, hands clasped behind her back like I’d caught her stealing.
“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t—” Her mouth fell open when she registered it was me.
Her face was puffy and her eyes bloodshot.
“Oh my god, Charles Downing,” she said. As though saying my full name out loud made it real. She pressed her hands to her cheeks and quickly wiped away a tear.
“Call me Charlie. It’s okay,” I said. I backed away slightly, making myself seem as small as possible. “I came early to check out the sets too.”
Her gaze flicked over me, and she blinked rapidly a few times before glancing around.
“It looks exactly the same,” she said in soft wonder. One of her hands flounced out to the side. Then she looked back at me, and her brow furrowed. “Of course, you know that more than me. I, er, duh.”
I chuckled and looked at the floor. I found it too hard to look directly at her and remember how to blink. That wouldn’t freak her out at all—to stare unblinkingly at her face.
“It does look just like it.” My voice was deep and raspy from lack of sleep. My Adam’s apple felt too high in my throat. This was the first time she and I were ever having a conversation. Just us two. Not electronically. I cleared my throat again and said, “I was just thinking the same thing.”
Her mouth parted and her eyes blinked over me. She had her glasses on today. I loved how the big round frames accentuated her doe eyes.
“Is it the same set?” she asked.
“No. We originally filmed on the Megamount set,” I said.
“Oh, that’s right.” Her gaze went soft as she looked over my shoulder. “I forgot LexiFilm bought the rights to TF in 2015. I guess it would be silly to think it was the same after all this time.”
I wiped my mouth to hide my smile. I loved her encyclopedic knowledge of all things TF.
I stepped forward so that one of the desks was between us. It looked so small. How had we ever been so young? “I didn’t mean to intrude. I just thought I heard something.”
Her cheeks reddened. “You aren’t intruding. I’m the one who shouldn’t be here.”
I dismissed her worry with a quick shake of my head. I tentatively lifted a hand to point at her face. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
Her eyes widened, and I recognized that my tone was far too familiar. I was a stranger to this woman. Or worse yet, a character.
“You were crying,” I stated when she didn’t speak right away. Like a caveman who just learned to talk.
“No. No. I’m fine,” she insisted. “I’m just overly emotional being here. TF was a big part of my life.”
I nodded. That could be true. But somehow, I doubted it, or at least it only felt partially true. Would Kate come here for comfort when something upset her like I had?
“Of course. Itwasyour life. Like, you actually lived this. Well, not in space. Obviously.” She snorted. “But this was your childhood. Is it weird being here?” I opened my mouth slowly, but she shook her head and went on. “You don’t need to answer that. I should probably stop talking,” she mumbled as she trailed off.
There were so many things I wanted to respond to. It was lonely being back here. It brought up so many feelings. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to comfort her. Worse yet, I longed for her to comfort me.
I hated seeing her so flustered, but I also found her incredibly adorable. She rambled and wandered through her sentences while speaking like she did in her letters. They were always stream of consciousness, like she was on the journey to discover what she wanted to say in real time. She could have pared down her words and deleted the rambles, but she never did. She would sooner write “ignore that” rather than go back and delete it. And I loved that about her. She didn’t replay and overthink every thought and feeling in her head like I did. She didn’t filter everything out until there were only grunts lefts.
