“Then it wasn’t.”
Her brows furrowed in concern. “What do you—”
I stood up too quickly. The microphone ripped out of my shirt, causing a loud static sound. I bumped into the boom mic hanging over us, sending feedback across the soundstage.
“I need to take five,” I said.
I was such an overly emotional man-child.Thiswas why I was drunk for so many interviews. I wanted to have this conversation with Kate, as my friend. Not as two people who only just met with strangers watching and cameras in our faces. It terrified me how badly I wanted something real with her. Something I couldn’t have.
How the hell was I supposed to get through this?
I felt the crew around me freeze. More fodder for the rumor mill. I could run off stage and hide like my diva reputation warranted. But I’d already walked away from Kate twice. I was tired of being a coward around her. She was the bravest person I knew.
You make me brave. If she thought I made her brave, then I could be brave for her too.
Sally called for a lunch break. Kate was pointedly not looking at me.
“Kate?” She looked up when I said her name softly. “Would you like to join me for lunch?”
Her eyebrows bounced up. “Yes. Sure.”
23
Kate
I was havinglunch with Charlie Downing. Charlie Downing was sitting across from me eating a salad. This was totally normal and not freaking me out at all.
RC was gonna lose his ever-loving mind when I told him about this. Poor RC, I hadn’t caught up with him in hours. He was probably wondering what the hell I was doing.
I glanced at my phone. It was late enough in England that he might be getting ready for bed. No, he was a night owl. He probably was wondering where I was.
“Everything okay?” Charlie asked me, gesturing to my phone I had been staring at.
“Oh yeah. I was just wondering if I should check in with someone,” I said. I turned my screen facedown so I wouldn’t be distracted.
Weird. I felt weird. I didn’t know if I wanted to tell RC about therealreal Charlie. This was getting complicated.
“Your boyfriend, right?” he asked, looking up with his head tilted down. It gave him the appearance of being smaller than he was, innocent and sweet. His question was gentle, but he watched me like whatever I said next mattered to him. Maybe that was just how he listened. Intensely.
Charlie always seemed so soft-spoken in interviews, it shouldn’t surprise me now. But maybe part of me still half expected him to act more like the outgoing character he played on TV.
But Charlie Downing was so unexpected. In a good way. Like inviting me to lunch when I had thought he was about to storm off set.
His question settled in belatedly, distracted as I was. My boyfriend …
Oh.Oh my god.Pete. I had not even remotely been thinking about him. A wave of guilt twisted my gut. Should I have been thinking about our breakup? Or the increasingly annoyed texts he’d been sending? No, I was genuinely more worried about RC. And if that wasn’t a strong indication of my true feelings …
“Actually.” I cleared my throat and flicked a look up. “That fight I told you about. We broke up.”
“Did you?” Charlie sat incredibly still. I couldn’t read him at all.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t talk about my personal life with you anymore and here we are.” I gave him a shaky smile.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his brows knitted with concern.
“Yeah. I just think—” I shook my head and thankfully stopped another bout of overshare. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
He scratched at his neck. “You can talk about it if you want.”
