“I know.” I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, to drop my head in my hands. Acting was my life and had been since I could walk. I wanted life in Sandia to be real, but was I too stupid to see the truth? I was being ungrateful for the life I had. Wishing for a life that I couldn’t have when I had the literal American dream. Somebody’s dream, anyway.
“You committed to this role two years ago. You were stoked about it before. What happened?” he asked softer.
I shrugged. “I have just been dealing with a lot of stuff.”
“Look. I’m not going to ask about what’s going on. Quite frankly, we aren’t those kind of friends. But I need to know how this will impact your career. Are you going off grid like your buddy Charles?”
“No,” I said. “I’ve just been helping out.”
“Seems like you and that chick are awfully cozy.”
“It’s just a distraction.” I felt sick with the regurgitated lie.
“Look, plenty of celebrities have lives. I’m not asking you to choose. But you have to make an effort here. You committed. I was warned you can be a little flighty, but you aren’t a flake. Bring the bird to set if you want.”
“Yeah.” I thought of asking Frankie to hang around a film set where I’d work twelve-hour days, and she’d have to make small talk with actors. I could already imagine her slow blink of disbelief. She wouldn’t even consider it. But then I thought of all our shared moments. How good they felt. How she looked at me when she was about to come. Maybe it wasn’t absurd to ask her? I could just ask.
I imagined her head thrown back, laughing in my face. Calling me pathetic for making these hookups more than they were. I felt instantly sick.
“I know you were trying to lay low for a bit longer. But the cat’s out of the bag. You’re back on the map and trending. All good things.”
He stood.
“I’ll see you next month when filming starts. These short visits aren’t going to cut it anymore.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You get distracted. I get it. It’s fun. But your commitment is here.”
There was nothing else to say because he was right.
I made my way back up to George’s feeling reality like chains. I tried to shake it. Smiled for the paparazzi. Shook hands with fans. Did the things.
It wasn’t until I was driving up to the house that I felt anything close to joy again.
Frankie waited for me at the front door. She was beautiful in a sundress, and I was conceited enough to think she wore it for me. The second I parked, she ran to the car door and pulled me out to kiss me with ferocity.
“Hello,” I said against her kisses.
My entire body lit up. Not only because, yes, I wanted this so bad, had missed her so bad, but becauseshemissed me. She wanted me. It was euphoric. I pressed her against the car, grinding my already hard cock into her.
“Hi.” She smiled shyly at me, lips swollen, eyes bright.
I glanced back at the house.
“George?” I asked.
“OT. Collette is at camp.”
“Pool house?” I asked.
“God, yes.”
We barely made it through the door when I was on her. I couldn’t even wait to get her clothes off. I pushed her up against the wall. I kissed and teased her breasts until all her sounds told me she was wet. Sure enough, when I shoved up her dress to slide my finger into her knickers, she was soaked and ready for me. I pulled myself out of my jeans and tugged her knickers out of the way. We’d stopped using condoms after the first few times when we both had good bills of health, and Frankie said she had an IUD. And I was never more grateful. I shoved into her with a hard thrust.
She gasped out my name. I stilled only for a minute, letting her relax around me, feeling the flutters of her adjusting.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she cradled my head to where I lavished her breasts.
