He made a thoughtful sound as he brought a tea cup shakily to his lips. “I don’t know how to answer that. You tell me.”
I blinked at him, my mind going to worst-case scenario. George had been my foster parent, and I’d always looked up to him. At this moment, all I could think about was how I was falling short. I was a student expelled for truancy. I was sitting in the back of a shop, scolded by a store manager for shoplifting. That was how I knew Harrison wasn’t stealing that day. He was far too earnest to be sneaky.
I wished my brain would stop finding excuses to think of Harrison.
“Are you unhappy with my work?” I asked carefully. It had been slow going, but he knew better than most of the factors that played into the delays.
“I’m thrilled with your work. That’s part of the reason I wanted to talk to you. I believe you know more about my health than you are leading on. I suspect that, in fact, you know that I’m not doing well.”
I swallowed a sip of tea to avoid speaking. Truthfully, I’d rather it had been about my performance than his health. I wasn’t ready to have this talk.
“I saw a ghost last week,” he said.
My hand stopped midway to setting down my cup.
He frowned as he continued. “It is as absurd to me as it sounds to you. I saw it clear as you are sitting there.”
I shifted uncomfortably. I had no idea how to answer this. He obviously told his version of the truth, but what did somebody say in this sort of situation? “Who was it? Are you okay?” I asked.
“It was a man, could have been anybody. Standing just outside the office there. He didn’t seem to notice me.”
“Ah.”
“You can’t tell anybody,” he said.
“Okay.” I hoped that was a promise I could keep.
I wasn’t sure of where I stood on the afterlife and spirits. I’d seen too much of the world to have my mind firm on one set of beliefs, but this felt entirely foreign to me.
“Something is happening to my mind. We both know it. When the doctor saw me, after my tumble, I shared some things that had been happening. Sleeping a lot. Waking angry. Things are not where I left them. He wants me to come in for more tests but believes that I have the early signs of dementia,” he said matter-of-factly.
I nodded stiffly as immense sadness made my bones feel brittle. “I’m very sorry to hear that, George.” I sat perfectly still. It was as though if I breathed too hard, all the barely contained emotion would spill over, like the surface tension on an overfilled glass of water.
“Are you sure you aren’t British? That’s quite a stiff upper lip,” he teased.
“I’m so sorry.” My voice shook as I spoke.
I was so still a bird could land on me. This was how I handled big news: my mom being arrested, the schools kicking me out, and my sister leaving her child on the doorstep. I couldn’t move or react. People thought I was emotionless or heartless, but sometimes, I felt things so big that my brain couldn’t even communicate the situation to my body. If people could see my thoughts, they would never think I was a calm person. No one noticed my clenched hands, the knots in my stomach, or the sharp, shallow breaths. It all covered the swirling maelstrom of pain, fear, and confusion of the blows thrown by life.
“I know you are, Francesca. I’m only giving you trouble. But this composure is a quality I admire in you. It is why I knew I could trust you with this information. I need someone who can be levelheaded about what comes next. There’s much to do.”
I knotted my fingers in my lap. A plan. A plan, I could handle. I may not know the right things to say or how to act, but I could help. “What can I do?”
“You aren’t going to like what I say next.”
I nodded once. My ice-cold fingers balled into fists.
“I need you to finish writing the last book inTerraformative.”
I heard the words. They bounced around my head, but I couldn’t process them. “George. You shouldn’t say stuff like that.”
“You and I both know you mostly wrote those last books,” he said, ignoring me.
“That’s not true.” My head shook once. “You can’t tell people that.”
“You did, and you know it.” He slammed his cane.
My head shook slowly. This couldn’t be right. I misunderstood. “I helped you type here and there. Maybe gave a suggestion.”
