“The ones I met around Christmas?” I asked, pulling my hair up off my neck. That night felt so weird. We hadn’t really talked about it.
“Yep.” His gaze moved along my exposed neck and arms. “Charlie and his Kate. That’s a wild story for another day. And Emma and Wesley. You know, that’s actually also a bit of a tale too. These people and their drama,” he said it lightly enough, but that tension remained around his eyes. I wondered if it was hard to have two best friends find their soulmates. At least I was used to solitude.
“It’s good when your people find their people,” I said.
“I’m chuffed for them.” A darkness shifted over his features as he turned away. “Onward?”
We started walking again, this time just milling through the throngs of people, but close enough that our arms were constantly brushing. “That’s the weirdest thing about fame. To answer your question.”
“What is? The thing with the guy?” I gestured back to the tent.
“Sort of. No. Well. The thing is. It’s as though everybody thinks they know me, but … I don’t think I’m explaining this well. I’m somebody to so many people, but not theoneto anybody. So it sometimes feels like I’m a nobody. I’m just a nobody that everybody recognizes.”
I stopped, and he looked at me. There was a look on his face like he hadn’t meant to say that. It wasn’t the first time he’d hinted at the loneliness that accompanied being so famous.
“Oh God, not that pitying face,” he teased.
I fixed my features to arch an eyebrow. “I’m hardly pitying the super mega-celebrity,” I lied.
The truth was I felt an ache of loneliness for him. I remembered how he’d shared his minimal family life. About the interview I’d archived where he talked about wanting a big family. How quickly he seemed to fall into this paternal role. At first, I had assumed he couldn’t wait to get out of here and back to his real life. But being here was special to him, and he liked being here, away from the life he’d always known. I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. Like we were some sort of family experiment. A trial run before the real thing. It caused an uncomfortable pressure in my chest.
“Sorry—that was—that was too much wine.” He laughed and looked like he was seconds from running.
“No. It’s refreshing. I never thought about it like that.” I reached out and brushed his shoulder. “I don’t feel like anybody gets me either. But it’s easier to think that’s because I don’t have that many people in my life. You’re constantly surrounded by people who think they know and that might actually be worse.”
“Right.” He scratched under his hat. “I love what I do. I’m not complaining. It’s odd, is all.”
“I could see that. Thanks for that perspective,” I said honestly. “I assumed all actors were self-absorbed egomaniacs.”
“No, that part is true.”
I laughed as we made a final turn that would bring us to the exit.
“We should probably head back,” I said, not thrilled to leave.
“Yeah.”
“They’ve all been suspiciously quiet,” I said, reaching for my phone for the first time in hours.
A sudden rush of nerves sobered me. I’d been so distracted, having fun with Harrison, that I wouldn’t have even heard if they called. I had no notifications. Some of the anxiety melted away, but my heart raced under my palm.
“No news is good news,” he said, reading over my shoulder.
“Or sometimes it’s a fire in the kitchen.” He winced. “Sorry. Too soon.”
“No. It’s good that you’re to the teasing stage.” He looked down as we walked out the gates and back to his car. “Sharp tongues run in your family.”
“You should have met my mother.” I realized as soon as I said it that I didn’t want to continue down that road. “Wait. What do you mean?”
“Your sister isn’t very nice to you,” he hedged, shooting me a look.
It was a strange thing to notice. Nobody else ever seemed to think she treated me in any sort of negative way.
“That’s just how she is. It’s fine. She was there for me so much when I was younger.” I shook my head. Joey was just mean to the people she loved. It wasn’t hurtful. It was just the way she was. “Sometimes Joey talks, but I’m not even certain she pays attention to what she’s saying. It helps me not take things so personally.”
“Right,” he said, but I got the impression he wanted to say more but stopped himself.
Instead, it was me who had all the words today.
