“Don’t talk to me about being an outsider. That’s all I’ve ever been,” he spat with rage he’d never shown before. It was like the version of Leo I’d seen on the internet.
This was Leo, full of fear and self-doubt. It wouldn’t matter what I said now.
All my buoyant joy dissolved, leaving me unable to move with weighty disappointment.
“I’m gonna go.” He stumbled backward. “After all, I’m not needed now, right? The plan worked. I got out of the house just like Janice wanted, and you got your tutor.” He wouldn’t look at me. Both of his cheeks were splotched with red. “Two birds.”
I closed my eyes. “Leo. Please...” I wasn’t sure what I was asking. Don’t go? Don’t end it like this?
“I’ll talk to Cath later. Her parents have the drums,” he mumbled as he walked away quickly, hands tugging at his hair.
“Please don’t prove me right,” I finished when he was too far away to hear.
CHAPTER 34
LEO
Ashiver racked me as I walked into the house, numb and heartbroken. The kitchen was quiet. The only sound was the soft ticking of the wall clock.
Failure. Loser. Loner.
It was on repeat from the moment Mari had told me her feelings. I was desperate for relief from the negative, consuming thoughts. She had finally put into words the truths of what I felt about her for months, yet the revelation that this had all been some silly setup by my own mother filled me with shame. How long would I need other people to come to my defense? When would I be enough on my own?
I shouldn’t have walked away from her, leaving her there with heartache written all over her face, but I was humiliated. I didn’t want to be anybody’s obligation.
I gripped the sink basin, my ears up to my shoulders as I looked down.
There was no comfort coming back here without Mari, no familiar safety of home. The house echoed loudly in silence and cold without her.
But then, knowing Janice was so embarrassed by me that she had to concoct a plan to get me out...I couldn’t look at Mari, let alone talk about this.
My body physically winced. All the Bunco Broads, therefore the whole town, must know how sad I was.
This town never accepted me.
My mother needed space from me.
Mari had never wanted me. It was all a big joke.
I was a joke.
“Leo?” my mother said softly from behind me.
It didn’t stop me from jumping and hitting my hip on the sink as I spun around. “Janice.” I couldn’t meet her gaze.
“Sit down, kiddo, we need to talk,” she said in her no-nonsense voice.
“I want to be alone.”
“Give me three minutes,” she said, same as when I was a teen and never wanted to talk. Was I acting like a child now? The pain didn’t feel adolescent. The pain felt aged and well-worn, an elderly man set in his ways. “I just got a call from Mari. She was worried that she’d messed up.”
“She spilled the beans,” I said icily. I slumped into the chair at the breakfast table.
“It wasn’t a secret we were keeping,” Janice said. I made a grunt of disbelief. She swallowed with a tilt of her head. “But I do regret asking Mari the way I did. I shouldn’t have pushed her so hard.”
“Oh good. Not only did she not want me. She actively fought against me. This is fun.” I rubbed at the burning in my chest.
“She was reluctant, and I persuaded her. And I do regret it. I should have just talked to you. Like you should have told me that you were fired.” She held my gaze meaningfully.
