“Cath,” he said and high-fived her.
She lifted her hands with robotic jerks to hit him back.
“Cath’s gotta head out soon, but wasn’t there something you wanted to ask her?” I asked Vander.
“Yeah?” He looked at me, and I nodded. “Cool. Yeah. The Burnouts are still working on our album after the break, but would you want to maybe jam sometime?” Vander asked.
“She’s gone Cath-atonic,” I said, grinning at my own joke.
Cath had just enough wherewithal to roll her eyes at me before she jerkily nodded at Vander.
“Yes. Sure,” she said. “Cool.”
“Rad,” he said. “We’ll work out the details. Merry Christmas.” He fist-bumped her this time before going back inside.
“Did that really just happen?” she asked, staring at the shut front door.
“It surely did.” I put my hands in my pocket, rocking back on my heels with a contented grin.
What a weird and wonderful and awesome day.
Cath’s parents shouted her name out the window. She blinked back to herself with a headshake.
A flash of worry crossed her brows. “You don’t think Miss Mitchell will mind?”
I frowned, wondering why that would be an issue. “As long as you’re not skipping school or anything, I don’t see why she would.”
She worried her lip. “It’s just not, you know, the plan.”
“It won’t get in the way. But want me to go get her?” I asked.
“No,” she said quickly, flicking a look behind me. “I really should go. Merry Christmas. And thank you. This is—” She widened her eyes with a shake of her head. “Thank you.”
“Merry Christmas, Cath.” She skipped down the steps and toward her waiting parents. “See you next year,” I teased.
She groaned loud enough for me to hear as she got in the car and waved goodbye.
Only after she was out of sight did I wonder if I should have checked with Mari first. But Mari wanted Cath to be happy, and this was an awesome opportunity. Plus, it would mean more time for Mari and me to spend together. Two birds, one scone.
CHAPTER 30
MARI
Iunderstood the balance of the universe. Good and bad, ups and downs. People come and go. That was the natural order of things.
Even in the biggest moments of joy, I’d felt that ennui of knowing that this too would end. It had felt too good being at Janice’s with this temporary family, pretending it could be my life. Everything was fleeting, and I had to protect myself against the future pain.
I ended up staying with Leo until after the new year. I would half-heartedly mention leaving, but I didn’t put up much of a fight when he insisted I stay. We checked on my apartment once or twice but returning made me feel like a visitor to a cold place. And since Janice and Faye had officially announced their relationship, his mother spent a lot more time at the other woman’s house, presumably to give us more space so they could have alone time.
It made sense that after the holidays, everyday life would feel lackluster and dull. Everything in the “real world” felt less exciting without Leo. Being around him was like watching things in hi-def, only to go back to analog.
I told myself it was the doldrums of January that caused this general malaise. Though now, it was nearing spring break, and the mid-March weather remained dreary, the final days of winter clinging on like a lingering cough after a cold. With each passing week, though things remained great with Leo, the ticking clock in the back of my brain grew louder. We never meant to get this close, but now were so intertwined I didn’t know how to be on my own without him. I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t even feed myself regularly without his reminders to eat or prepare meals. But when it was no longer easy orconvenient for him, I’d fade away from the forefront of his mind, like everybody else.
The only minor hiccup had been when he’d told me about Vander’s offer to have Cath play with The Burnouts. He’d told me after she’d already accepted. It wasn’t that I was mad about the amazing opportunity; it was only that it made me feel like an outsider to their relationship. I had been an afterthought. I wouldn’t have expected it from them, but this was the way of things. It was like introducing two friends only to watch them hit it off and make plans without you.
It wasn’t like Cath and Leo even needed me, really. They were their own people who had formed a strong connection. Their tutoring and jam sessions would run smoothly regardless of whether I was there. Iwashappy for them. This adolescent yearning to be included was my own issue, and there was no way to express it without sounding needy and petulant. I couldn’t risk pushing Leo away, coming on too strong as I so typically did. I wouldn’t ruin what we had.
“Hey, Cath,” I said as the bell rang to end class. “Hang back for a sec?”
