“When do you need an answer?” Leo asked.
His eye contact broke, and he turned away slightly, lowering his voice.
“So soon? Okay. Wow. I’ll talk with her.”
I’d become well-equipped to handle bad news over the phone, probably more so than most. So it surprised me just how sick I felt and so suddenly. It was like my knees were about to go out. This had to be about the tour. This was why I never made any future plans after Cath’s audition, because I knew Leo would never want to stay here. Not after everything got better with Vander, and he no longer felt obligated to me. Even if he didn’t like touring, he still hated living in Green Valley. And here was an easy way out.
I had planned for this exact scenario so it wouldn’t hurt. Yet the air felt knocked out of me all the same.
I didn’t want Leo to go. I think I’d gone and fallen in love with the man and this was a really,reallyshitty time to figure that out.
Leo ended the call, tension in his features as he found me watching and waiting.
“Everything okay?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light.
Leo deliberated a second too long. A moment to find an answer that wasn’t the truth.
This couldn’t be happening again. Not when I’d been so careful to protect myself.
Cath and her parents came outside to greet us.
“Let’s talk about it later,” he said.
I nodded and plastered on a smile, as inside the last vestiges of self-sufficiency crumbled to pieces. This time, there would be no picking me up and putting myself back together.
CHAPTER 31
LEO
Throughout dinner, though she managed to be perfectly polite, Mari carried a tightness around her eyes that told me if she didn’t vent soon, she would burst at the seams. The stilted conversations with forced smiles were not made easier by Cath’s short, evasive responses to everybody’s questions. The student carried a heaviness like a secret burden. Having just spoken to Vander, I understood why.
The Burnouts had asked Cath to tour with them over the summer. Vander tried to wait until after her audition, but they needed her decision as soon as possible.
Instead of going the collegiate route, Cath would tour the country with one of her favorite bands, living out her wildest dreams—or rather,somebody’swildest dreams. She was impossible to read, and talking to nobody.
With that amount of talent, the expectations were high. That put a lot of pressure on her young shoulders. How could she make such a choice? How was Mari going to react to the news? College had always been the plan, but there was no doubt this was an incredible opportunity. Mari needed to know as soon as the time was right. And this wasn’t it.
With every passing minute, Cath retreated more into herself. I wished I could pull her aside and talk to her, but she hadn’t mentioned the offer, and I wasn’t sure if she had spoken to her parents yet. Her parents, for their part, tried to encourage and reassure her about the audition at dinner, but it only caused her shoulders to move higher as she sank farther into her sweatshirt.
The whole meal couldn’t have been more than a couple of hours, but timehad crawled with painful awkwardness. By the time we left that night, I felt exhausted from trying to carry the conversation. I wasn’t a big talker, but everybody else was so introspective that I didn’t want Cath’s parents to think we weren’t grateful or give potentially unnecessary implications that something might be wrong. I felt put in the middle of everything, and it wasn’t a place I was comfortable sitting.
We agreed to head back to my house for the night. As soon as I parked, I went to Mari’s car to lift her out of her driver’s seat to hug her.
She squeezed me back, and I inhaled her. I didn’t want to have a hard conversation, but I knew that she would want the truth more than keeping the peace.
When she pulled back, she smiled up at me. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi.” I brushed my thumb along her cheek. We’d been sitting next to each other all night, but it felt like this was the first time I’d seen her all day. I wished she’d just move in with us. I planned to ask her after the audition. I’d been patiently waiting for her to catch the hints, but again, best to be direct with her. Things might seem fast, but to me, every moment we weren’t together was a moment wasted.
“Better?” I asked.
“Getting there.” She looped her arms around me and squeezed until I made a groan from the pressure. “My thoughts are spinning out. I’m jumping to conclusions.”
“Tell me about your day.” I used my thumb to tilt up her chin and meet her gaze.
She shook her head lightly. “No. I just want to put it behind me. Focus on Cath and tomorrow. But I can’t do any of that until you tell me what Vander said.”
I frowned down at her. I had hoped to gently ease her into the news, not jump straight in. Mari would always put Cath’s happiness first, but this offer could come as a shock after months of preparation, and we didn’t even know which direction Cath would go.
