“I can see your wheels turning. Every second you don’t tell me, the worse my thoughts,” she said.
“No. No.” I gripped her shoulders. “It’s good news. Nothing to worry about.”
Her gaze moved over my face; if I wasn’t mistaken, her eyes were gleaming. She took a steadying breath in and out. “I know it’s about The Burnouts tour. Just tell me.” Her voice shook slightly.
I held her gaze a moment longer, my own confusion growing. “Vander asked Cath to tour with him and the band this summer,” I said simply.
There. I put it out there.
“Oh,” she said. Her breath whooshed out, a hand to her chest. “So you’re not—wait.” She shook her head. “Cath?”
Any momentary softening of her features was quickly overtaken by pinched disbelief. “Cath is barely eighteen. She’s starting college. She can’t?—”
“Nothing is official yet,” I said carefully.
She pulled away, a hand to her temple. I stepped forward, but she retreated. “I’m processing this.”
I crossed my arms over my body, desperate to reach for her but giving her space.
“Why didn’t you tell me this right away? All night, I’ve been assuming what I thought was the worst. I didn’t even...I couldn’t even fathom.” She paced in a circle, her movement growing more agitated. “How could you not tell me?” she repeated.
“I only just found out,” I said carefully. “You have to admit, the atmosphere at dinner wasn’t conducive to that sort of news.”
“But you could have toldme.”
Her implication was that we were awe,and I owed that to her. But this was where it got tricky being Cath’s mentor and Mari’s...whatever I was to her. She never clearly said. I knew that I loved her and had for some time, but did that mean I should have told her about this right away? Maybe she was right.
I pulled at my hair. “It’s complicated. I haven’t even talked to Cath. This is her decision. This is band stuff.”
She flinched back. “Right. This has nothing to do with me. I’m just her teacher.”
I stepped forward again only to receive a palm to stay me. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but we don’t even know how Cath feels.”
“I knew she seemed off all day. I knew it. I tried to get her to talk.” She spoke out loud, but it didn’t feel directed at me.
I shrugged, feeling helpless. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my news to share.”
“I thought you were leaving,” she said, looking up at me suddenly.
Is that what had her so panicked? She thought I would leave her? After these last few weeks, I was here getting ready to ask her to move in with us, and she thought I was about to leave without another look back. The tension ofthe day was starting to get to me too. I steadied myself before I spoke. “I told you that life wasn’t for me.”
She shook her head. “But on the call to Vander. You said you’d talk to me.”
My eyes closed as I put the pieces together. “I said I’d talk to Cath. They leave tomorrow. They need her answer as soon as possible.”
When I opened them again, Mari had paled. “This can’t be happening.” Mari shook her head. “How could this happen?”
“We don’t know what she’s planning to do.”
“Join the rock band of her dreams or go to college? What would you do at her age?” She balled her fists.
“I know it is big news, but it’s exciting. You helped a student who has two incredible choices.”
Her arms went around her stomach. “I’m never gonna be allowed to teach after this. Pin Dick is gonna fire me for this somehow. I know it.”
The comment came from nowhere. She was spiraling out. Her worries shooting in every direction like fireworks. I reached for her. “He can’t do that because Cath joined a band.” This time, she let me hold her.
“You don’t understand.” Her balled fists went to her eyes. “If he can, he will. All the money I raised, how hard I worked. It’s all going to be for nothing.”
