“Okay,” I whispered, slumping into one of the metal bistro seats.
“You’re about to get an email saying you’ve been let go. The Finance Scheme story has been pulled from next month’s schedule too. They’re threatening legal action if we publish it. I’m so sorry. Ireallyam. I fought for you.”
“What—no. That can’t be because every source was sound. Triple verified.”
“I know. It’s absolute BS. Shit, he’s on his way down. He just messaged me. The short reason is claiming budget cuts, but it’s bullshit.”
“But all those people—” My fingertips went icy numb. The single mom and her ceramic beads. It was almost Christmas. My ears rang so loudly that I couldn’t fully process what Mel told me.
“I know. It’s a bullshit reason. The truth is, one of our last advertisers is a subsidiary of his company. They would pull their ads if we ran the story about him. Crap. I hear big boss. Gotta go. I’ll call tonight. I just wanted you to hear it from me before you saw the email. I’m so sorry. I did try, but my hands are tied. It’s been great working with you. I wish you the best of luck, and you will always have a reference with me.”
The call ended without so much as a click. Justlike my career. Soundless. Without fanfare. All these years of working hard, searching out justice, trying to make a difference …
I couldn’t think about it for another second?—
I stared unseeing for so long. Distantly, I registered my brain was in shock. It wasn’t dissimilar to the days that followed Kevin’s departure. I was numb. But not numb in a physical sense, numb, as though I floated outside my body. My stomach clenched with a viselike grip cramp, and my fingertips were icy. I registered it all but absorbed nothing as my brain became a maelstrom of endless looping fears and anxieties.
People talked around me, but I heard nothing. I needed to get out of here. I needed to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do now. Jobless. Soon-to-be homeless. I was a disaster. But I worked so hard to avoid this. I did all the things I was supposed to. And just like that, everything was gone.
“How long has she been like this?” Levi’s voice pierced the fog.
“About twenty minutes. She isn’t answering us. Just mumbling that she’s okay. As you can see, she’s catatonic.”
“Thanks for getting me. I’ll get her home,” he said.
Home. I snorted as Levi scooped me up and carried me to his truck. A rational part of my brain would be embarrassed about this coddling later. It was lamenting how poorly I was handling the situation, but then I remembered Kevin’s cryptic text and blurred into oblivion again.
We made it back to the driveway somehow. Ripley whined and circled on my lap.
And how could this be happening? When I’d been feeling so good, very much in the physical sense, thanks to the past week. From the day Levi had given me the most spectacular orgasm of my life, and lucky me, every day since then. Every day, I texted him and met him up at Big Cabin or in the work shed, and every day, we came together literally and figuratively to explore each other with our hands and mouths. I never offered for him to come to my place since it was still so tied up in memories. But every day, we would lick and kiss and bring each other to orgasm. I was in heaven.
I was resting regularly and relaxed for the first time I could remember. From college to my career, I’d never felt like I’d taken a single breather. It was always the next step in the plan, the next story consuming my mind. I had never luxuriated in the touch of another person, woken up late, only to fool around and go back to sleep without a care in the world.
Maybe that was why I was paying the price now. I was caught unaware.
Levi carried me up to his room and tucked me in. The sheets smelled familiar now. It felt like comfort.
“Just sleep. We will talk tomorrow,” he whispered as he tucked me in. I registered the worry creasing his sharp features, but it was like the sound of a distant train, noticed but unregistered at the same time. He pressed a light kiss to my temple, and the first tear formed behind my clenched eyes.
I fell asleep instantly, even though it wasn’t dark outside.
I shot up, slamming awake. My heart raced as I remembered it all. From Levi’s bedroom window, the comforting glow of his workshop was like a beacon in the dark, cold night. Urgency, like I never felt, moved me forward. There was no time to waste. Nothing was promised. Nothing really mattered. Any effort was pointless.
I pushed into slip-ons and made my way to Levi. It must have been after midnight. I had no idea what time it was. I didn’t care. The garage was open as always, despite the cold of deep fall now and the lightly falling snowflakes.
Late fall meant heavy snow, and winter was right around the corner. Winter meant the end of this contract. It meant the end of?—
No. I stopped before the thoughts could snowball into each other and bring me right back to what I was not thinking about.
I stood on the edge of the garage, waiting until he reached a good breaking spot. Again, I had that vague and distant awareness that I wasn’t wearing a coat as the shivers wracked my body, but I didn’t feel them. Levi hadn’t noticed my arrival yet, so I watched him work.
He was incredibly, undeniably beautiful. Sculpted in the most extreme example of peak male physical form. It made no sense that anybody so gentle and loving and thoughtful and sensitive could also be gifted with the handsome face and that objectivelyincredible body.
His long, strong fingers held his tool with a simple dexterity that could only come with years of practice. The more effortless looking a talent, the more skill it required, and the more years taken to hone it. His shirt was off despite the flurries falling outside. His back muscles gleamed under the orange from heated lamps, beads of perspiration at his temple and the back of his neck. Triceps, biceps, and whatever other tiny muscles made up the arms worked and flexed in perfect cohesion.
I needed Levi. Time was running out. I needed him. He was good and nice and lovely and generous and the best man I knew. He made me feel good, and I would feel good before I dealt with the bad.
After another minute of me scrutinizing and remembering how those muscles felt under my palms, how his tongue, currently pressed against his lower lip in concentration, worked itself to exhaustion against my most intimate parts, Levi seemed to notice my hovering. His head shot up, and he pushed off his goggles. Those same goggles he wore the day I first met him, the day I’d spilled my guts to what I thought would be a stranger I would never see again. Now, Levi was the person I came to when my life imploded.
