Pace ran a hand down his face. “Shit. I don’t know what women want. Each one is different. Maybe some women would want that, I’m sure. But does that sound like Claire? Is she easy with big changes and going with the flow? Does she always know what she wants right away, or does she take more time to think things through? I guess what I’m asking is, does she make choices from her heart or her head?”
Had she been serious about the pros and cons list? She did mention the rules a lot. It was my turn to feel queasy. “I guess it could feel a little fast for her. It’s so obvious to me, though. She has to be feeling the same. How could she not?”
“Is it possible she is but is also confused? Both things can betrue. I do think she was very into you. But you have to think from her point of view. What if you just decide that you’re done one day? Then she’s back where she started, dumped and homeless.”
I slumped back against the wall, the corner cutting into my spine. “Shit.”
“So maybe she just freaked out. And does need time. Which you should give her. A little time to sort yourselves out wouldn’t hurt.”
“Fuck.” I scrubbed at my eyes.
“It sounds like you guys have really made a connection, so just, you know, have a little faith.” He said it like it tasted bad.
“Okay. Yeah.”
“Yeah.” Pace kept nodding and debating with himself. He was really bothered by something now that I looked at him. He tugged his cap off, his reddish-blond curls sticking in all directions. “So then. The only other thing I wanted to ask then, I guess, you know that she’s been going around town? Interviewing people about Lily?”
A sinking sensation started in my gut. “What do you mean?”
Pace took a deep breath in and out and slumped back. “Judging by how all the color just drained out of your face, you didn’t know. Shit, man. That’s what I was afraid of. Especially with all the, uh”—he gestured at me—“waxing poetic and whatnot.”
“Tell me exactly what you heard.”
“A few of the matrons of the town were talking. Overheard them. They said she was interviewing them about Lily and … about her life and relationship with your father. When I got closer tolisten, they gave me the stink eye and told me to mind my own business.”
My eyes closed as I processed the information. “She told me when she found out about Richard. When I explained everything to her, she said she would stop. She hasn’t mentioned it since.” I opened my eyes to meet his.
He nodded.
“When was this?” I asked.
Please let it be before. Before we talked. Before I fell this hard. Maybe it was all bad timing and a misunderstanding.
“Two days ago,” he said.
My head fell forward. When was she even doing it? When did she find time between all the sex and talking and exploring each other’s bodies?
“I’m sorry, man. I came here to find out what was going on. I know I had been pushing you this whole time. To rent the cabin. Then, pushing to have a night out. I just wanted you to unwind. Maybe fool around a little.” He rubbed his brow until the skin turned red. “I’m sorry, man. I mean. We still don’t know anything for sure. I say, talk to her. Maybe she doesn’t get how private you are? Or how fucked up the whole situation is.”
My jaw clenched, and I nodded. “I told her. I told her everything.” I felt humiliated. Strewn out. Was it a coincidence that this charming, completely beautiful woman rented my cabin? Did she somehow know the truth the whole time, and I played right into everything?
“Just talk to her. Nobody would be that vindictive.”
“Maybe this was why she’s so eager to leave. Why she rebuffed this whole offer? Maybe she’ll offer this article about my mom to try to get her job back?” A dozen thoughts, each worse than the last.
“You don’t really think that. Trust what you know about her. Talk to her.”
I didn’t really think that, but I also thought we were on the same page regarding our feelings for each other. What did I know?
Claire
“Have you heard about pickleball, Claire Bear? It’s all the rage.” My dad, sweaty and red, waved to me from what looked to be an indoor tennis court.
Several of his friends ran around yelling in the background. I was happy to see them doing something other than eating sausages and drinking beer.
“I have. I’m glad you’re trying it,” I said.
“Yes.” He panted for several breaths. “I think. Maybe. I need to get the ole stamina back up.”
