“Maybe I should drive down and see her. Maybe I should surprise her and?—”
Pace held up his hand. “Stop, stop. None of that. Just go to her. Talk to her. Apologize. Don’t let it go any further than that. Don’t make any demands of her. Don’t put any pressure on it. Let her take the time she needs.”
“Okay. Be chill. I can be chill.”
But first I had some things to do.
After we finished for the day, I brought the boxes from the house and set them on the table. One by one, I sorted through the photos. I set a few aside for the memorial, but I thought about what my mother would have really wanted. And as much as it was going to suck, I had to do it.
I loaded the photos into the portfolio and took a deep breath. I made my way over to Ruth’s first.
“Levi, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not thrilled to see you,” she asked.
“Do you have a minute?” I asked.
A little while later, with a pot of coffee and a package of cookies between us, I pulled out the photo of the B&B when she opened it almost thirty years ago.
“Oh,” she gasped softly, one hand covering her mouth, the other tentatively hovering over the image of her and Jerry, her husband who had passed a few years ago. “That’s lovely. We look so young.” She laughed wetly as her eyes welled.
I ground my jaw to keep my own emotions from swelling. “I thought you might like this. I found it when cleaning out Mom’s place.”
She took a deep breath in, focus moving between the photo and me. “Thank you,” she said.
“I know she meant for these to be seen.”
“I absolutely will cherish it. Thank you, Levi. Your mother was so proud of the man you grew up to be.”
I squeezed her hand across the table.
After Ruth, I made it through several more stops, each one special and heartbreaking and hard. I cried over the memory of Lily time and time again. Watched as her photos lit up the eyes of the people she continued to provide joy for even now. It was hard and so outside of my comfort zone, but exactly what I needed. I was wrung out while simultaneously fuller than ever.
More than anything, I felt incredibly grateful to have these memories and connections, thanks to my mother.
I thought of Claire with each stop. I thought of the questions she might ask. How she would love these small moments that felt so large, thesehumans being cute. I thought of how the emptiness at my side almost felt tangible now. They asked about her too. The whole town wondered how she was doing and when she would be back. Time and time again, I had to explain that I wasn’t sure. If they weren’t so grateful for the photographs, I was sure I would have gotten far more snarky remarks.
In the workshop, I uncovered the sheet on the unfinished, unnamed project and stared at it for a long while. Then I got to work, lost in my art for hours.
I made it back to Big Cabin feeling that same satisfied exhaustion that came with a good workout but in my brain. With Ripley curled up in my lap for courage, I sent Claire several rapid-fire texts in her style.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I was wrong.”
“Cozy Creek misses you.”
“I miss you more.”
Chapter 32
Claire
I saton the milk crate in the small unit, staring at all the stuff that needed to be loaded into the moving truck rental. It wasn’t too much, my desk and favorite couch that Kevin thought “clashed” with his aesthetic, and a few other boxes of memories and a small bed. The storage place was mostly abandoned on a cold winter day this close to Christmas, though occasionally, a bit of conversation or a door slam would drift to me. I could start loading the stuff, but I felt sad and cold and lonely. I studied all the doors next to my storage unit, wondering what secrets they held.
Did they all contain broken hearts and fresh starts? Or maybe I was projecting just a little.
My heart was well and truly broken. Worse than I ever thoughtpossible. I didn’t believe I was capable of falling so fast, and there, love went and punched me in the face when I wasn’t looking. I thought I was smarter than that. I could outthink it. But Levi had been right, knowing all the information didn’t stop the pain. I just didn’t think he’d be the one to hurt me. I guess that’s how I should have known that it would be.
But I’ve been thinking a lot in the weeks since I left Levi and Cozy Creek, and I still couldn’t wrap my mind around how it all happened. Heartbreak aside, my pride had taken a massive blow. I thought I was a person who had ethics and morals and that would eventually count for something or matter. I never thought that Levi would assume something so awful about me, and that alone kept me from reaching out to him, no matter how badly I wanted to. Even when he sent me messages apologizing.
