I studied her features, feeling a sensation like looking over the edge of the tram. Something was shifting in me too quickly to track.
She wanted to know more about me. I wanted to share. I took my time to form my thoughts. I felt pressure to get it right, but for once, not because I thought she would judge me, but because I wanted to be understood by her more than anybody else.
“I guess if I think about our lives, our relevance in the grand scheme of things, it can be scary.” I put an arm around her when she shuddered. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or the vast, unending nihilism of our existence, but I held her just the same. Our faces were just inches apart as I spoke softly, watching her expressive eyes take in my words. “I also think thatthere’s a sort of freedom there. That if we are from stars to the stars, there’s really no reason to let things hang over us so much. We are less than a blink in the cosmic grand scheme. So who cares about the little stuff?”
I did think that, on some level, I tried to live that way, but was that true? Or was I hiding just as much as anybody else from monsters in my closet I didn’t want to acknowledge?
She leaned into me. “From the stars to the stars …” she whispered softly. “I like that, Owen.”
“I didn’t come up with that,” I mumbled, flushing under her heavy gaze.
We stared at each other as that feeling of tripping over the edge intensified. My palms sweat despite the cold. My heart thumped wildly against my chest. Was she leaning forward? Was I?
Another heavy wind whistled, causing the track lighting to flick on and off. It was enough to break whatever connection had been pulling our mouths closer together. We both turned to look in the opposite direction, but she shuddered and moved closer when there was already almost no space between us.
“Wait.” I shook my head. “We’re talking about you and that bikini.”
“Ah, damn.”
“Nice try, Nietzsche.” I pulled her closer, her head tucked under my chin. The scent of her shampoo tickled my nose, closing my eyes …
“I’m going to ski down The Slope tomorrow in that bikini. In only that bikini.”
My eyes widened. I could feel my brows creep closer to my hairline. I waited. Any second now, that sentence would make sense.
“There’s this journalist with a cute blog and video channel where she travels all over the country and interviews bigcharacters in small towns. I’m going to be one of them. Though, to be fair, she has plenty of fodder to choose from here in Slippery Slopes. She’s coming tomorrow with her boyfriend. They drove down from Cozy Creek, Colorado. I got in contact with her and told her my plan, and she agreed to interview me. So I have to get back up there. That’s the only time they’ll be there.” Her head tilted in the direction of the peak.
“You’re skiing down the slope in a bikini because you want to be in an online blog?”
“Yes. Well, no. Kind of. That’s just extra.”
“That’s why you were hiding out with an overnight bag?”
“Yes. I planned to hide until tomorrow and ski down in the morning, hopefully with a big New Year’s crowd. Until you caught me.” She flicked a worried glance up at me. “And now I don’t know if I’ll get back up there in time.”
It was a reflex to promise to help her get back to the top, but I wasn’t about to get involved. I couldn’t get involved. Not if I want to help Ivy.Not my circus.“Wait. What does the statue have to do with this?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked with the lift and drop of her shoulder. “If I can get some attention to Jane Smith, then maybe somebody will know something. Clearly, my going around asking isn’t getting me anywhere. People forget me the second I walk away. This will get some real eyes on her. Her life won’t have been wasted. She won’t just fade into nothing.”
There was more to this that she wasn’t sharing, but this confession already cost her so much that I wouldn’t push.
“I want to make a difference. I want to be somebody who makes an impact,” she said, her brow pinched with ferocity.
“And that’s what you want to be remembered for?” She glared, and I was quick to add, “It’s an interesting idea. Memorable for sure. I just mean, whythat?” My eyes flicked to her chest and back up.
She chewed on her lip. “I thought it was a little sexy and provocative. It just popped into my head, and I thought it was a good idea. I just went with it. I’m not one to overthink.”
“I got that.” I softened my tease with a smile.
Her gaze flicked to my mouth, and her eyes widened. “There it is.”
“What?”
“Your smile. I haven’t seen it in a while.”
“Oh.” I guessed that was true. I didn’t know she’d been paying attention. Bee was up here to try to change her life, and I was doing everything in my power not to change.
“And I won’t be talked out of it. I will find a way to get back up there,” she said determinedly.
