Eventually, he glanced at his watch. “I have to head back to Ivy’s. I promised her dinner.”
Don’t go. Invite me. Let’s stay together.
“Okay.” I sighed. “I have to find a metal trash can to burn this in,” I said with a smile and a forced laugh.
“You want to?—”
“I should let you?—”
We both started and stopped at the same time.
“You go ahead and head out,” I said and tentatively leaned forward until we hovered with our faces just a breath apart. “Tell Ivy I’ll help her blow up the tram any time.”
His low laugh rumbled through the warm comfort of the car.
“Happy New Year, Bee,” he said.
“The best start to a new year ever,” I said.
He kissed me softly on the lips, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight.
I ran up to my door before I could do or say anything I couldn’t take back. I lay in bed too long, staring at the dark ceiling, a hand on my racing heart, willing myself to believe that I would hear from him soon.
Chapter 24
Bee
“I still can’t believeyou got stuck in the tram. Everybody is talking about you going to the police station, but I feel like not nearly enough people are focused on the bigger issue,” Deckard said as he followed me, bundled in his winter coat.
“Wait, who’s talking?” I asked, pulling out my keys to Grizabella’s.
“How is that even allowed?” He went on, looking a little ill. “How many people ride The Can every day? There has to be safety protocol.” Deckard’s mismatched eyes looked hazily into the distance, his shaggy brown hair mussed.
“You’d think,” I said, remembering Benny Jr.’s stuttering apology when I’d brought that up.
Deckard continued his anxiety spiral as he followed me into Grizabella’s back entrance for employees. He always kept me company in the café the few minutes before opening on the days he went to work. My phone remained text- and call-free from Owen. And every time I checked, the old insecurities crept to the surface.
When I turned on the main lights, I was met with a chorus of meows. The cats were never really alone, but you wouldn’t think that with how they reacted to my arrival.
“You’re not starving,” I said to the closest few as they rubbed against my ankles and hopped onto nearby shelves to get my attention. “I missed you too.”
It was nice to be back, nice to have the familiar routine, but a little black cloud hung over my head that I couldn’t outpace. I tugged down a black-and-silver streamer that had been missed by whoever cleaned up from the party. When I’d left here on New Year’s Eve, I’d been so down but so determined to change. I had imagined that when I returned in the new year, I would be a new person. But I still felt like me, just with a new haircut. I checked my phone again, and my heart twisted in disappointment. I shoved it to the back of my bag so I wouldn’t keep looking at it.
“What a wild ride, literally.” Deckard bent to pet Godzilla. “I’m glad you’re back safe. You must have been so scared.”
“For some parts, yeah. It was pretty bananas, but Owen made sure I was okay,” I said.
I felt his stare on the side of my face. “Is that right? I heard they found you two at the Hookup Hut.”
“From who?” I asked, but then added, “A lady never makes out all night, comes a bunch of times through several rounds of very active and enthusiastic lovemaking, and then talks about it,” I said coyly. No reason to be gauche.
Deckard tilted his head, squirming slightly. “Good for you both, I guess?” He picked up one of the cats, Maximus, and scratched behind his ear. “You really like him? I only ever knew him as the scary muscle that worked for Benny Jr. But he’s good to you?” Deckard watched me.
I nodded eagerly, hands clasped under my chin. “He took really good care of me even though I was—well, you know how I can be.”
He nodded too enthusiastically for my liking.
“Also, all the aforementioned orgasms,” I added just because of the enthusiastic nodding.
