I wondered if the dog sensed one of its own.
Energetically. I wasn’t implying that Pace was a dog.
He just had the highly social, universal appeal of an adorable dog.
My knees started to tingle the closer I got to the two men. Should I interrupt? Should I stand awkwardly to the side until one of them noticed me? The slight sweat that formed when I had been last-minute stress packing had only doubled as I made my way closer. Step by step. I imagined them both turning toward me just as I tripped on my own foot and face-planted.
Could I really do this? Could I really spend time with someone like him as if it’ll change me by some hot-person osmosis?
If every instinct in my body and soul told me that this was a terrible idea, then maybe that was exactly why I needed to keep walking toward Pace. Because let’s be real, my brain had been trying to keep me safe my whole life, and all it had done was keep me from living.
I didn’t want to just endure life; I wanted to experience it.
Despite my constant fears, I’d already told him more than I’d told anybody else. There was no going back.
Shoulders back, chin up.
Come on, come on, be brave.
I could change my life.
Pace’s head lifted in my direction. As I came closer, his grin spread over his features, even as he effortlessly carried on his conversation.
Everything worth having is just outside your comfort zone. I couldn’t remember where that quote came from, but it was pinned up in my office—constantly mocking me.
My knees felt seconds from giving out, and my palms were so sweaty I had to discreetly wipe them on the inside of my jacket cuffs.
But then Pace looked at me. Hereallylooked at me. Even though it was an easily missed flicker up and down my body, heseemed to be checking me out. Could that really be a thing that he did?
I had gotten so many, too many really, comments about my body since I returned from college. It never failed to astound me. One time, I heard a customer tell Grandma—not knowing I was there—that I had a chance to snag a man since I’d lost that baby fat and grown into that face.Ouch. Whatever that meant.
Grandma mumbled something that didn’t reach me, but the customer left right after that with a huff and a “It was a compliment, El,” before the bell rang with her dramatic exit. I went up to my room, and we never talked about it.
But now, Pace flicked back another look up my body, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. He seemed happy to look at me, and it made my heart flutter in a new but also terrifying way.
He said something to the man, detangled himself from the dog, who was now fully enamored with him—welcome to the club, pooch—and stumbled up to me, wiping his hands on his jeans.
“Hi,” he said. His eyes were squinting in the midday fall light, and he tugged an unseen,different,baseball hat from his back pocket and pulled it on.
“Hi,” I croaked like the majestic bog creature that I was.
I pulled up the great tote, which was so heavy I might lean to the left permanently now.
Pace carried nothing for our day’s adventure aside from his small-town charm.
“I wasn’t sure?—”
“What were you thinking?—”
We spoke at the same time. Pace laughed. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.
“Hey, I have good news,” he said. I lifted my brows expectantly. I think my new approach, at least for now, wouldbe to speak as little as possible. “I was thinking about you last night.”
Inside, a tiny version of me ran around with her hands in the air, screaming and flailing wildly.
“Oh?” My voice came out high and tight.
“Yeah. I think we might have knocked an item off the list already. I can’t be sure since I don’t have a copy, but ...” He lifted his chin in a gesture to see the list, which he rightly assumed I had with me.
