“Yeah. But I don’t know. It’s not like I need cash. I mean, who even uses a bank anymore?”
“You’re getting cash for the next fall festival/pumpkin show/farmers’ market, whatever the case may be. It’s better to have cash for those sorts of things,” I explained.
“Is it? Because then you’re fumbling your change and trying to shove it all back in your purse as the person behind you taps their foot impatiently. Plus, everybody has an app these days.” Her voice was still too high and breathy.
“Sophie, breathe,” I said, shooting her a glance. “One step at a time. I shouldn’t have mentioned the next task. Right now, all you have to do is go into the bank. I know you can do it.” But she was too lost in her growing stress to even notice me. I turned onto Main Street, and already the bank was in sight.
“You’re not coming in?” Her head snapped to mine on a delay. When I glanced over, her features were twisted in worry. “It’s better when you’re there.”
I loved hearing her say that, but I worried it wasn’t what she needed.
“I think the issue is, if I’m there, I’m taking up attention. I don’t know how to turn it off.”
“I don’t think the sun knows how not to shine either,” she said offhandedly. Like she hadn’t just doled out one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me.
I pulled into one of the few spots in front of the bank and still must have had a goofy grin on my face. I could see her replaying the last words she said because she quickly added, “I just meant I know you’re not doing it on purpose. People like you can’t help it.”
“People like me?”
“The winners.”
I frowned, feeling slightly offended but not sure why. “You have the strangest way of giving what might be a compliment but making it hurt like an insult.”
“Oh God, no. Don’t make that face.” She grabbed my hand off the steering wheel and tugged on it until I looked at her. “I wasn’t thinking. I mean, itwaslike I was thinking out loud. But that’s not even true.”
“It makes sense. I’ve always been complimented on my looks, but it’s not like I do much.” She was beautiful and funny, and it didn’t make sense why she kept talking like we were two totally different species.
“God. I’m just so anxious. I’m saying things all wrong. You should be proud. You do work out like all the time, and that’s not even what I mean. I need to stop talking. It’s not just being attractive. You could be a jerk, but you’re not. You’re very kind. Like I also mentioned, social interaction ninja. Sorry, this is coming out all wrong. I’ve spent my whole life trying to analyze the differences between myself and others, and sometimes I forget that you’re uh?—”
“A real person?”
She winced like I’d yelled despite my soft question.
“Yeah, but saying that out loud makes me feel like a huge jerk.”
I turned to look out the window. I needed to take a minute and think about how I would handle this if Levi were trying to express his feelings and ended up saying the wrong thing. Thankfully, I was used to that grump.
“You’re not a jerk. I’m a flawed person though,” I said. I could tell her how off I’ve felt lately, how much I worried about being enough for people. I could share that I wasn’t even close to being the “perfect” person she seemed to think I was. But the words wouldn’t come. I just wanted to keep her looking at me like the way she was now.
“Because of your weird monster feet? Sorry, that flaw was fixed after some, albeit major, physical labor.”
A laugh burst out of me, easing some of the tension. I watched her as she watched me, causing us both to smile wider and wider.
Her anxious energy had her shaking her leg and tugging at her lip with her teeth. This wasn’t the time to get into my own shit. I was here to help her.
“Let’s just get back on track, okay?” I asked.
Her dark brows pinched together like she held back saying something else. “Okay.”
“Ready to go in there?”
She nodded fervently. “Nope.”
“Okay. So. Hey, look at me.” She sniffed and did as I said. Her wide brown eyes, unblinking like the baby rabbits’. “When you walk in, there are a bunch of desks set up to the left. Those are for loans and stuff, you don’t need to worry about those.” As I spoke, tension melted slowly from her eyebrows, then her mouth, then her shoulders. “You’re going to go straight ahead to where there are about five teller stands. There might be a short line of people, but that’s okay. The signs will tell you exactly where you need to go. To your right, there is a little table with a bunch of different forms. You’re going to need to grab the withdrawal slip, right? Just taking out money. I think it’s the blue one.”
She bit her lip, eyes filling. I worried I’d fucked up big time.
“What? Is this ... is this not helpful?” I asked. “When I was reading about anxiety, it suggested looking at places ahead of time to get to know the lay of the land. But if this is too much?—”
