“I’ll go and tell June. I’ll meet you at my place around midnight?”
“Deal.” Rainier looked more relaxed than he had while we were fighting, a smile reappearing on his face. “You want to join me for dinner? I’m about to head to the dining hall.”
I shook my head, still feeling upset with myself. “I’m not hungry. You go on. I’ll grab something before we go.”
For the barest second, I thought he might try to convince me to go with him, but thankfully, he nodded and left. I staredat the village, then turned to look into the forest again. The sun had dipped below the mountains, and a grayish hue colored everything, the precursor to the darkness of winter night.
The Red Maw was an issue, yes, but an issue I could handle. June was another problem altogether. Heading to my cabin, I tried to think of the best way to apologize for the afternoon.
Once there, I dug into my bedside table and pulled out the small velvet bag that I’d kept there for years. Inside was a delicate silver necklace. It had belonged to Naphele, a simple piece that she’d worn the day we were officially mated to one another. Initially, I’d hoped giving it to June would stoke some memories of her life as Naphele, but Rainier was right. I had to stop looking for a woman who was gone. I had to realize the woman who washerewas amazing as well. Now, I simply wanted to give June something beautiful.
For decades, the necklace sat in the drawer, gathering dust. It deserved to be worn, and I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather see wearing it. Instead of it being a means to an end, it would be nothing more than a gift. My way of saying I was sorry.
Pocketing the velvet bag, I turned and left my cabin, hoping I would find the right words to apologize for what happened.
29
JUNIPER
Ifelt a little better after dinner with Linnea and a few other women. The jokes and laughter had done a lot to get my mind off what had happened with Levi that afternoon, but on the walk back, those thoughts had come trickling back in.
No matter how I played it in my head, I kept coming away with the feeling that I’d upset Levi or disappointed him in some way. I understood that he’d taken me somewhere special, and though it was beautiful, I simply didn’t feel a connection to it like he did. It was also a little uncomfortable knowing his first mate had loved it so much. It had felt like I was intruding on something private.
I took a quick shower in the shared bathroom, then dressed in a white T-shirt and panties. It had been a long day, and I was ready for bed.
As I braided my hair, I wondered how my grandparents were doing. They had to be so worried about me. It had been so long already, and the month was almost over. Beatrice would have to go on with her own life soon, and they’d be left to their own devices. They were still healthy enough to do a lot by themselves, but that wouldn’t last forever. I needed to hurry and learn toshift so I could get back to them. With each day that passed, my anxiety about them grew.
When I pulled back the sheets on my bed, there was a knock on my door. I sighed, assuming it must be Linnea or one of the other women coming to ask me to join them for tea or hot chocolate before bed. They’d have to enjoy it without me. I was exhausted.
I opened the door, and a tiny gasp broke free from my lips. Levi stood in the hallway, his hands in his pockets. Despite us having already explored every inch of each other’s bodies, I crossed my arms over my chest,veryaware that my nipples were visible through the thin fabric.
“Levi, what are you doing here?” I asked. He hadn’t once come to the bunkhouse in all the time I’d been here.
He glanced up and down the hall, looking uncomfortable and nervous. “Mind if I come inside?”
“Uh…okay, sure.” I moved aside to let him, then closed the door.
“I want to apologize for earlier,” he said.
“You don’t have to,” I said. “It’s fine.”
“It’s really not,” Levi said, shaking his head. “That place was special—is special—but it was special for old reasons, for two people who aren’t together anymore. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be something you aren’t, orsomeoneyou aren’t. Does that make sense?”
It felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. “It does.”
“I took you to the overlook because I thought you’d like it. You’re my fated mate, and my last fated mate liked it there. I know you are your own person. I’m sorry for trying to shoehorn something someone else loved onto you.”
There was obviously something he wasn’t telling me. There was a weird anxiety emanating off him. I could pursue it, but I could tell this had already been ahugething for him to admit.There would be time to figure out exactly how deep this went. Sometimes it was difficult to remember that he was a century older than me. I had enough baggage at twenty-seven. God only knew how much baggage a person had when you added a hundred years to that.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to put as much meaning into the word as I could. “That means a lot. I was afraid I’d upset you or disappointed you.”
Levi took a step toward me, taking my hands. “The only person I’m disappointed in is myself. All I want to do is make you happy and keep you safe. That’s part of why I came here tonight.”
“Oh, I don’t like the sound of that.”
He made a noncommittal sound and sat down on the bed.
“You remember the Red Maw?”
