A groan went around the couch.
“Miss Cleo was not invited tonight,” Taryn cut her off again. “We arenotdoing readings right now, okay? Hang it up, Simi.”
“I’m only pointing out that their compatibility is documented.”
“Documented where? By who?”
“By thestars,Taryn.”
Marlowe set her wine down. “Okay. Forget about Julian for now. New question.” She looked at me. “When’s the last time you got some?”
Suddenly I’d have given anything to keep talking about Julian. “Y’all are gonna laugh at me.”
“We are not gonna laugh,” Simone said.
“It’s been a long time.”
“How long? Just say the number,” Zenobia pushed.
I closed my eyes. “Six, seven years, or so.”
Nobody said anything for a full three seconds.
“SEVEN!?” Taryn gasped.
“Taryn,” Simone warned.
“No. No! Alyssa, didn’t your husband die like four, five years ago?”
“Five. It wasn’t a good marriage at the end. It’d been sexless a year, year and a half before that. I stopped counting at some point. Sex stopped, and then he was killed, and I wasn’t exactly itching to go find somebody new. The opposite.”
The room got very quiet again. Then, Taryn sucked her teeth loudly. “I’m sorry, and God rest that man, and may he stay resting.” She put her hands together for a half-second prayer, then dropped her hands and looked at me. “But girl! You arefine, you aresmart, you are stillbreathing! Meanwhile his trifling ass — may he rest in peace — was out there blowing backs out while you changed diapers. So tell mewhyyou haven’t had your back blown out yet?”
I burst out laughing. “Taryn!”
Marlowe clapped. “She ain’t wrong, though.”
“Okaaay?” Taryn sang at the room and then back at me. “Not for nothing, but I woulda got me someas soonas I got home from the repast.”
Simone put her head in her hands. “You are terrible.”
“It’s not that I’m holding out over Malik.” I shook my head, still chuckling. “It’s life. Work. Micah. Keeping us afloat. Dating hasn’t been on the list. And it stopped feeling like something I was missing a long time ago. I stopped wanting it.”
Kendra set her glass down. “Can I say something?”
“Yeah.”
“I hear you. I understand where you’re coming from. And I want you to hear me, because I think you and I are wired similarly. You don’t have to date, if you don’t want to. You don’t have to fall in love. None of that has to be on the table.” She held my eyes. “But seven years isn’t focus, Alyssa. That’s a body that’s been waiting on something its owner hasn’t given it permission to want.”
I nodded.
“I’m thirty-four. Not married, not looking to be, haven’t had a serious relationship since law school, and not particularly sad about it. But I haveneeds, sis, and I take care of them. Periodically, and carefully, with men who are not coming to my mama’s house. That’s not desperation. That's a grown woman who knows herself. That iscarefor your own body.”
“Mhm, speak on it Kendra.” Taryn nodded.
“And being an accomplished woman does not help. Especially in our profession. A third of the men are intimidated by us, and another third are competing with us. It’s not easy. But the answer toit’s not easyis nottherefore I will starve. You hear me?”
“I hear you.”
