Was he lying to her now by not telling her his past? How did someone even go about explaining what had happened to him, what he’d done? Imagining telling her felt different than when he spoke to Cross or shared at a meeting. There was a lot that he couldn’t say at the meetings, details that would implicate him or the club in other crimes. He concentrated on his feelings and addiction now rather than the past.
But if he wanted something real with Toni, he would have to tell her all of it. Wouldn’t he? Maybe not the fact that he’d tortured and murdered Cameron and Ritchie, but everything else. His kidnapping, his torture, his rape, his addiction… She had a right to know.
How did he even start to tell her all that?
“Green means go,” she said over his shoulder.
Glancing up, Ranger cursed when he saw that the light was indeed green.
“I understand if you’re having second thoughts about allowing me on the property,” she shouted over the wind racing around them. “Just drop me off at my office. I have a couch I can sleep on there.”
Ranger pulled over to the side of the road, but didn’t turn off his engine. “The thoughts that are going through my head right now are most definitely about you, but don’t youeversay that I’m having second thoughts about helping you or having you in my life. Not even a consideration.”
“I wasn’t sure, because your hand’s been on my thigh since we left the mountain, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.”
Ranger glanced down, and sure enough, his left hand was cradling the curve of her thigh. He rubbed up and down the jeans he insisted she wear while on his bike. “The… The last person I had on my bike… It didn’t end well.”
Understatement, but all he was willing to say now.
Toni sat up more, loosening her hold on him. “I’m sorry. It’s not the time or the place to ask you how or why, but I’m sorry all the same.”
He was too, but no doubt for a very different reason than she thought.
“I don’t know what we are and I don’t know where we’re going, but I feel very possessive over you. But it’s like my head and my heart are moving at two different speeds. I just need some,” he paused, struggling for the right wording, “patience on your part. If that’s okay.”
“Your club is currently cleaning up my house after I murdered my father. I think patience is going to be needed on both our parts. But I’ve also had areallyshitty night. I mean, it started out a little rocky, then turned fantastic, and then spiraled quickly down from there. How about we table any more heavy discussions, you get me to this magical mystery trailer, and fuck my brains out?”
Ranger laughed and lifted his arms to pull her tighter against him again. “Yeah. I can definitely do that.”
* * *
Toni was not a small girl.Her waist curved inward, but she always felt like her extra-large tits and ass canceled that out as a positive feature. Andmaybeshe could spend more time on the treadmill she insisted on purchasing for herself, because she was going to use itall the time, listening to an audiobook instead of curled up on the couch in pajamas, braless, with a paperback book, coffee, and her favorite blanket.
But the way Ranger touched her? The way he lifted her and maneuvered her body like she weighed nothing, the way he ran his hands all over her body like he didn’t mind the roundness, made her feel more beautiful than she ever had in her life.
The man was perfection. All firm muscle, and thoseeyesthat seemed to capture everything and hid so much.
They barely made it into the club trailer before he was on her, fulfilling his promise to fuck the memory of this night out of her. He removed her clothes, not like they were an obstacle but like they were wrapping paper covering a most-anticipated birthday gift. Toni almost wished she’d left the bathrobe on. Almost. While it would have made getting undressed so much quicker, it would have been a bit awkward on the motorcycle.
Not to mention, she’d needed the excuse of changing in the bathroom to flush her father’s drugs. At this point, what was one more offense?
While she was entirely naked and completely revealed to him, Ranger had only removed his shirt and boots. Which she did find odd, but his talented mouth and fingers quickly distracted her from the question of why. If it was the other way around, she might have questioned it as a desire of him notwanting to see all of her. It wasn’t like either of them had been undressed during their first encounter.
But fucking hell—why did the sight of this shirtless man have to be so fuckinghot? But the way his dark jeans hugged his hips and accentuated his Adonis belt… Pureyum.
Toni was only slightly out of her element. She’d had lovers and boyfriends before, but none of them had ever touched her like she was the most erotic creature they’d ever had the honor of touching. Ranger was intense and forceful—but in a good way. Like he knew what he wanted and had full confidence that it would bring her pleasure. And still he paused, checking in with her every step of the way to ensure that she was comfortable and wanting to continue. It was fluid, and so fucking hot that Toni craved him even more.
The one thing that bothered her or struck her as odd was something she didn’t even realize until later when she was alone. Maybe it was her. Rough, passionate sex wasn’t exactly something she experienced on a daily basis, let alone twice in the same night. She was used to just lying there, not getting fucked up against a tow truck on the side of the road and then on the kitchen counter of a trailer. Was it normal for men to not want to be touched?
When they first got into the trailer and Ranger had stripped her bare, he’d stepped back, eyes never leaving her naked body, and removed his shirt. He got his boots off next. Toni had anticipated him going for his jeans, and in that moment, decided to take the initiative. She stepped forward, hands outstretched to undo the button of his jeans. She’d had the idea that maybe, just maybe, she might have the courage to go down on her knees before him.
He did it so smoothly that it didn’t occur to her until later, but he’d taken her outstretched hands and used them to pull her up against him, kissing her like she was the sweetest dessert he’dever tasted. He hadn’t let her touch him. Shoulders, neck, chest, hair… She’d had her hands all over him there. But he hadn’t let her touch his pants.
Hell, he hadn’t evenremovedhis pants.
Maybe she was overthinking it, her inexperience with a man like Ranger making her see things that weren’t there. Afterwards, he’d held her close, even tucked her into bed, but he hadn’t stayed. That certainly disappointed her, but she understood. Her situation already pulled him from bed once tonight, and maybe he just wanted to get a few more hours of uninterrupted sleep. It would have been nice, though. To be held by Ranger, to feel his arms around her and know that he had her.
Curling up into the strange pillow that was too soft for her personal preference, Toni let out a long sigh. She was thinking too much into this. He wasn’t her boyfriend. They’d had sex twice. Maybe he wasn’t the cuddling type. She wasdefinitelyputting too much thought into this. Besides, Ranger wasn’t her problem, and she really shouldn’t be getting involved with a man who hadn’t even blinked at her father’s dead body on her stairwell floor.
