“Isn’t that dangerous, though? You can’t be the old you.” Becks’ anger immediately shifted into worry. “The old you,” she sniffled, “went out and bought heroin off the streets.” Her chin quivered. “And you can’t do that again…” She sniffed. “You can’t, Liam?—”
Ranger rushed forward, wrapping his arms around his sister. “Shh,” he comforted, burying his face in her dyed brunette hair. “Please don’t cry. My eyebrows won’t survive it.” His words hadthe intended effect, making Becks laugh into his chest as she held him tightly. “I know you’re worried about me,” he said into her hair. “But I swear to you, I am doingeverythingI possibly can to remain sober. Hell, your husband nearly ran my legs off me this morning. I’m okay, Becks. And being with Toni feelsnormal. Beyond that, it feels right. I can’t explain it, but she’s it for me.”
“You met her yesterday, Liam!”
Ranger snorted. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot you were the expert on long-term relationships prior to marriage. How long was it that you were seeing Ghost before you married him again?”
Becks pinched his back. “We’re not talking about me, Liam. What happens when she breaks up with you or you two have a fight?”
“Putting the cart before the horse there, little sis,” Ranger mused. “We’re not even officially official yet, and she’s fully aware of what happened to me and why.”
Becks stepped back abruptly. “You told her? Everything?”
Ranger nodded, though he was sure Becks didn’t know about the unmarked graves in the woods to the east. He also was sure Becks was smart enough to never ask what had happened to Cameron and Ritchie.
Becks frowned, running her eyes up and down his face. He had no idea what she was looking for, but he did not stop her. Finally, she said quietly, “She really means that much to you?”
“She does,” Ranger confessed, hoping she could see and hear the honesty of those words.
Unfortunately, that did not reassure her as he hoped it would. Becks bit the inside of her lower lip, worry still evident on her face. “Liam, I’m happy for you. Really. And I wantnothingmore for you than for you to find someone to love and who loves the incredible man that you are, but…after Cameron…” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head slowly. “I’m not sureyou’re ready for a relationship. Emotionally. That woman put you through hell—literally. And I know you don’t like to talk about it. Trust me, it’s not my favorite topic either. And maybe you didn’t love Cameron, but you can’t deny you had feelings for her. She betrayed you in the worst way. Are you sure you’re ready to open your heart up to someone new?”
Ranger tucked his hands into his jean front pockets. “Honestly? I don’t know,” he answered softly. “I’m not in love with Toni, Becks. I care about her and I’m attracted to her, but I’m not in love with her. Do I want what you and Ghost were lucky enough to find? Abso-fucking-lutely. But I’m not in such a hurry that I’m going to jump headlong into something. She’s aware that my sobriety comes first. Iwantto fall in love with her. I feel like someday I could, but right now, neither of us are ready for something like that. And that’s okay, too,” he reminded her with a soft smile. “Maybe by taking it emotionally slow, we can build a foundation that’s stronger than anything we could have otherwise.” He shrugged. “All I know is that I feel more likemethan I have in a long time when I’m with her, Becks, and I need that sense of normalcy right now.”
Becks scrunched her nose adorably. “Fine. Be all logical and shit. But,” she held up a pointer finger, “I still want to meet her.”
“You will. She’s sleeping on everything we talked about tonight, and will let me know her thoughts in the morning. You’ll like Toni,” he promised her. “Sophia and Jasmine know her from high school, and she’s helped Steel and Lucky out legally. She’s a good person.”
Becks lifted a hand to his face. “I hope you know I’m not judging you. Idotrust you, Liam. You went through hell to protect me, but I also had towatchyou go through that hell. That’s not something I can just get over or forget.”
Ranger bent down and kissed his sister’s forehead. “I know, B,” he said softly. “And despite my current struggles, I hope youknow I have no regrets. I’d do it all again if it meant keeping you safe.”
Becks smiled up at him, a single tear starting to escape her eye.
“Shit,” Ranger cursed, quickly wiping it away. “That never happened! You got through this entire conversation without shedding a single tear! You’ll tell him, right? You’ll vouch for me? There were no tears!”
Becks laughed, sniffling, and quickly wiped her eyes. “I promise, there were no tears.”
Chuckling, Ranger kissed her forehead again. “Thank you for loving and supporting me, little sis. Now go to bed.”
She kissed his cheek. “Night, Liam.”
Ranger watched her climb the stairs before he headed to his room, pulling his phone out as he did.
* * *
Toni missed her pillow.She didn’t travel much, but when she did, she always took her pillow with her. Now she was regretting not asking Ghost to get her pillow instead of her briefcase. Then again, it wasn’t like she couldn’t go back or couldn’t ask for something else from her house. Even with working that day, and the fact that she’d had sex with Rangeragain, and going to the town’s old jail before hiking through the woods, plus the emotional rollercoaster of everything he confided in her, Toni wasn’t sure if she was more surprised or not surprised at all that she wasn’t able to sleep.
Stupid pillow.
Normally, it was very easy for her to compartmentalize. Work stayed at work, and very rarely traveled home with her. Yet, she couldn’t get her mind to stop replaying everything Ranger had told her. While with him, it was very easy to getwrapped up in the moment, the romance of it all. Now in the dark of her room in this safe house of a trailer, she couldn’t stop analyzing everything.
Ranger—Liam—was a heroin addict. Did she really want to get involved with another addict in her life? Look how the last two had turned out. She’d killed one and the other was somewhere unknown. She was barely holding herself together over the guilt, sorrow, and turmoil of her parents’ relapse. And now she was thinking of inviting another addict into her life?
But unlike her parents, Ranger hadn’t chosen his addiction. He’d never woken up one day and decided that he was going to try heroin for the hell of it. Then again, she was too young to remember or know how her parents’ addiction had started. From what she understood, they’d been making meth and selling it before they were using, too. And did that detail really matter? Did thewhythey started using matter more than the fact that they’d started using? With their toddlerdaughterin the apartment?
Toni did not want to glorify Ranger’s addiction. There was nothinggoodor righteous about it, even if he had become addicted for a noble cause. He’d saved his sister’s life, and the life of his unborn niece or nephew. Ranger was agood person. He was strong and gallant…and he was also a murderer.
Could Toni be with someone who had murdered his assaulters? Then again, maybecouldwasn’t the question she needed to ask. Maybeshouldwas.ShouldToni be with a murderer?
