He let out a grumbly sigh before releasing her to twist and reach for her phone.
The room was dark, which also meant Ranger had turned off the overhead light, but her phone light allowed her to see when Ranger passed it to her. It took her less than a minute to get Becks on the phone and assure her that Ranger was with her, and for Becks to both thank her and apologize for waking Toni.
“See?” Toni said, handing Ranger back her phone to plug in. “Quick, easy, and painless.”
“I know,” he grumbled, curling around her again. “Sometimes I just feel like you guys are playing Pass the Ranger. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re losing because you’re the one who has me.”
Toni shifted around to face him in the dark. “Never, and maybe I’m being overcautious. But I took my parents’ sobriety for granted, Liam. I never want to take yours.”
“Are you sure you still want to come with me to Dr. Rutenberg’s tomorrow?”
“Absolutely,” she said with a smile even though he wouldn’t be able to see it in the dark. “I’m grateful he’s willing to see me with you.” Toni had never been to therapy before, but depending on how tomorrow went, she was contemplating making it a regular part of her life. Ranger certainly seemed to be coping a lot better with his sobriety struggles than she’d witnessed with her parents. “Is there any news on my mom?”
Toni knew he’d just come from a super-secret Church meeting that everyone in the club seemed to know about. What theydidn’tknow about was the topics being discussed. Apparently it was an unspoken rule among the ol’ ladies not to ask.
“Are you sure you want to talk about this now? It can wait until the morning if you’re too tired.”
Toniwastired, but she also wanted answers. “Please, Liam.”
He reached for her hands in the dark. “Keys was able to figure out through blood typing that the finger wasn’t your mother’s.”
Toni took a beat to let that sink in. “I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed. Not that Iwantedmy mom’s finger to be cut off, but it would have given me an idea of where she is, or was.” Ranger squeezed her hands gently, remaining quiet as she processed. “But now we’re back to square one. I have no idea where she is. It’s almost been a week, Liam. Where is she?”
“I don’t know, baby. I wish I had that answer for you.”
A disconcerting thought came to her then. “Do you know who the finger belongs to?”
“Keys doesn’t have the equipment to figure that out. He gave it to Carlos so they could open an investigation.”
Feeling depressed and helpless at the lack of answers, Toni curled herself further into his chest. “I don’t really feel like having sex tonight. Can you just hold me?”
“You say that like you think me leaving you is an option.”
Toni shrugged. “It’s rare for us to be together like this and not end up having sex.”
Ranger nuzzled her cheek. “Antonia, if you think I am here only for sex then you have another thing coming.”
Toni shivered at her full name, that husky tone doing things to her insides. “I just meant I’m not up for it tonight.”
“Have I argued once or said anything to make you think I’m not okay with that?” Ranger asked her in return. When Toni said nothing, he continued, “Baby, I’m here because I want to be with you. Not to fuck you, despite how great that is. I am here to bewith you. However you’ll have me.”
“I’ll take the giant, warm pillow and blanket option please.”
Ranger chuckled and wrapped himself completely around her again. “Done and done,” he said, kissing her temple.
Toni was quiet for a long minute before whispering, “Thank you.”
“I’m not going to dignify that comment with a response. It’s unneeded and unnecessary.”
“Yet ‘you’re welcome’ would have taken a much shorter time to say.”
“Go to sleep, Antonia,” he grumbled.
Chuckling, Toni let herself drift off to sleep, feeling content for likely the first time in her adult life.
* * *
130-135 Days Sober
