Bear pulled a pill bottle and small water bottle from his medical bag. “Do you have any medication allergies?” When Toni shook her head, feeling the tape from the bandage pull on her throat, Bear handed her a large white pill. “Drink the whole thing. You’ll thank me later when the shock wears off. I don’t see any open cuts on your palms. How are your knees?”
“Fine,” Toni growled. “Will you let me see Ranger now?” At Bear’s hesitation, she realized that his medical care wasn’t just about checking on her wellbeing. He’d been stalling her. “Where’s Ranger? What did you do with him?”
Toni pushed to her feet, ignoring the sting in her legs and Bear’s arm when he tried to bar her again. She saw Lucky, Starbucks, Jigsaw, Scar, and Angel in the room, but no Ranger. Where would Ghost have taken him?
Her head on a swivel for the smallest sign of white-blonde or ginger hair, Toni leapt over the spilled tray and ran across the hall into the kitchen. It smelled like fresh coffee, a full pot sitting unused in the machine. But still no Ranger.
Bear came running after her. “Toni, maybe keeping your distance would be best for now. I’m not sure he’d want you to see him like this.”
Like what? Where was he that Bear knew his condition and she didn’t? Her eyes flew to the front door, but before she could get to it, Jigsaw stepped in front of it. Disbelief and fear filled her. Not fear that these men would harm her, but fear that they had the power and the wherewithal to keep her from Ranger.
Toni turned to Bear. She knew he was an officer, the road captain, but she wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. What authority did he have in the club? Didn’t matter. She rushed back out into the living room where Lucky watched as Starbucks and Angel covered Cross’ body with a crocheted blanket.
He turned as she hurried up to him.
“You once told me a story of a man trying to keep you from the love of your life, to the point where he had you arrested on false charges to punish you for loving her.” Toni put her hand to her chest. “I can’t tell you what Ranger means to me. Those words are for him. But if you try to separate us, I swear on all that is holy Russell McCoy, I will find a way to throw you back into that cell and throw away the key.”
Lucky stared down at her, his light brown eyes devoid of the fury he’d held when he stared down at Cross’ dead body only minutes ago. “You’re going to fit in just fine with this crazy lot when Ranger finally gets his head out of his ass and puts a cut on your back. He’s out front with Ghost and Bulldog, but I do encourage you to give him a minute, Toni. He’s still processing what just happened.”
“No shit,” Toni snapped, already heading for the door. Thankfully Jigsaw moved out of her way, or Toni might have royally embarrassed herself trying to make him move.
The front lawn was lit up by several headlights, including a large van that was haphazardly parked. A streetlamp and the near full moon also helped.
Her eyes landed immediately on Ranger’s back. He was hunched over, gagging and spewing into the grass.
“I really think Bear needs to look at you,” Ghost was saying, giving Toni the impression that this wasn’t the first time Ranger had vomited since exiting the house.
“He needs to take care of Toni.” Ranger’s words were slightly slurred, which worried her greatly. “You need to take care of her, Ghost. You need to protect her.”
Toni pushed her way between the large men, coming around to Ranger’s side. “I’m here, Liam. I’m fine.Youprotected me.”
Rather than embracing her or leaning into her as she’d anticipated, Ranger pulled from her hold. He moved away from her. “You shouldn’t be out here! Go inside. Bear needs to take care of you.”
“He already did,” Toni assured him. “Clean bill of health.” Well, almost. “Now I can help take care of you.”
Ranger spun away from her again, shifting so he didn’t have to face her every time she moved in front of him. “No, you need to stay away from me. You don’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand?” He could move out of her way as much as he wanted. She was not going to be ignored like yesterday’s half eaten pizza.
“I almost used, Toni! I almost did it! I wasn’t strong enough to resist!”
Though he shouted at her, he still wouldn’t look at her. Toni, really wishing she had long legs like him, was not going to give up. “You think I don’t know that? You think I was blind to what happened in there? I saw it, Liam! I saw your face and your eyes. Iknowhow close it was. But you didn’t! You powered through!”
She caught a true glimpse of his face in the headlight of the van and saw just how pale he was. His eyes looked haunted, even more so than the first day they met.
“Don’t romanticize this like one of your books! I didn’t come to some mystic realization that I loved you more than heroin! I acted on instinct, nothing more. He hurt you, I hurt him back. Ididn’t protect you. I didn’t guard you or help you. I didn’tchoose you.”
He jerked in another direction, successfully avoiding her. Toni could only imagine what they looked like with her half-running to catch up to his long strides. At least she was still wearing the boots from their bike ride and wasn’t trying to trail him in her heels.
“You think I still don’t know that?” she asked him again. “I knowexactlywhat happened in there. I know you had no idea that heroin was laced and that you likely didn’t intend to kill Cross. I also know how much you wanted to kill him.”
“You knew what I was, what I am,” he called back to her. “You know damn well he wasn’t my first kill and he likely won’t be my last.”
“Iknow!” Toni shouted, starting to lose her breath. She wasnota runner like he was.
“Then why are you even here? Why are you even talking to me?”
Toni had a hand on her ribs as a stitch started to pull in her side. “Well, last I checked, I was a killer, too.”
