Inexperienced?
I cringed and prayed that wasn’t the cause. As embarrassing as it was to have to admit it, I felt more shame at how easy I’d been. One kiss from him, and I was a molten pile of goo. He reduced me to a puddle of need, pliable and so willing for anything he’d give me. That was how much I wanted him to approve of me, to want me back.
I’d never done that before. No man had ever touched me there. I hadn’t even bothered with toys or anything like that, either, too nervous to be that forward or risqué.
He was the first one to touch me like that, in such a way that it felt like a forbidden heat and a glorious tingle.
My boss, if that was what he still was.
My owner, if I had to be technical about it. When my father ordered me to go with the Volkovs, he’d practically sold me, a payment in lieu of his punishment.
I don’t know what to think of you now.
I entered the house and went to the “old” office instead of going to Adrik’s office. If I was confused after he’d kissed me that first time, then I was completely conflicted now after he’d made me come.
No. It’s not only that.
It was the push and pull. Hold and cold.
He gave me the gift of an orgasm, one so sweet and strong and unexpected that it had blown me away.
But then he was just as quick to stride away from me.
Like I was a regret.
As I settled into working, logging on to the computer and swirling the straw in my iced coffee, I registered his presence.
He was only walking through this part of the house, though. He didn’t stop, passing by on his phone. He wasn’t coming to see me.
I got into a routine of checking documents and files, and still, he didn’t directly approach me.
Hours passed, and I clung to the hope that he’d end this curt and cool indifference. And still, he didn’t speak to me, didn’t address me when he’d been so good at listening to me when I had something to share with him about what I was looking into.
Stop being silly, El.
I shook my head as I slumped in my chair, hard at work despite my twisted heartstrings.
You mean nothing to him.
Even though he’d decided to make me come, that was a fact.
Youstilldon’t mean anything to him.
I couldn’t if his reaction to lowering his guard like that was to act like I didn’t exist.
It didn’t mean anything to him.
A sexy, powerful, and rich man like him could get any woman in the world. He’d probably fucked hundreds of women before me, and it did seem ridiculous to think I’d stand out among them all.
Why does it have to hurt?
I rubbed my chest and winced at the very acute heartache he’d made me experience. After a lifetime of being dismissed by my father, his distance stung. Ithurt, deep down in my heart where he wasn’t supposed to even belong at all.
The sound of more men walking nearby yanked me out of my thoughts. It was just Lev and Nikolai passing by, arguing about something but not to the point they’d raise their voices.Nikolai seemed too easygoing to ever really pick a fight with his cousin, or anyone. Not like Adrik and Alexei. I’d overheard them bickering often.
Focus.
Stop thinking about him.
