“Why?”
“Because in some ways, I’m still going through it. Little things still pop up that make me get misty-eyed. Like seeing those first little purple wildflowers in the spring. I remember picking them when I was a little kid and taking a fistful to Mother. They don’t have much of a stem, but she would take the lid off a little saltshaker and use it for a vase. She would set the bouquet on the dining room table like it was a huge thing. Or at the end of the day, when I’m sitting on the porch and, for just a split second, I’m expecting Dad to get home any minute so I can get his advice on a project I want to build. Memories are what keep them alive for me.”
Lottie moved away from him, drew her knees up, and locked her arms around them. “That’s why Mary Jane takesso many pictures, isn’t it? She is making memories, not only for herself, but for the family after she is gone. I’m going to start doing that tomorrow morning while my folks are here for doughnuts.”
“Never thought about it that way, but you are right. Mama wrote in journals. We have them all in a box, but not a one of us three brothers have gotten past the grief enough to read them.”
“I love that idea, so I’m going to do it too. But, Knox, aren’t you curious enough to want to know what she wrote about you?”
“I know she loved me and was proud of me for my independence, even though I didn’t get a degree like Tripp or put several years into the military like Brodie. That’s enough for now,” he answered.
“You are a good man,” she whispered.
“Thank you for saying that, but what do you make of that sight?” Knox quickly changed the subject and pointed toward the middle of the lake, where a reflection of the moon became a dim spotlight for a single swan floating on the top of the water. “Oh!” she gasped. “It looks surreal.”
She took her phone from her pocket and snapped several pictures. “If they turn out good, I will have one put on canvas for the rec room.”
“That would sure be fitting. Wouldn’t it be something if it brings more swans to the lake?”
“I’m glad you are here to share that sight with me,” she said.
Knox stood up and held out a hand to her. “Me too.”
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Wherever you want to,” he told her. “We can take a walk, go to my trailer and watch a funny movie, or drive into town and get a snow cone.”
“Let’s watch a funny movie, and thank you,” Lottie said.
“What for?” Knox asked.
“For being here for me.”
“No thanks necessary. That’s what friends are for.”
* * *
What Knox said about friends kept coming back to Lottie’s mind all evening and stuck there when she crawled into bed that night. Moonlight drifted through the lacy curtains over the small window in the bedroom end of her trailer and left shifting patterns on the ceiling. One looked like the silhouette of a young woman. The air vent moved the lace a little, and it turned into an old woman. That made her think of how much her mother had aged right before her eyes, and yet she had not seen it until that very day.
Prissy jumped up onto the bed, turned around a few times, and then settled down onto the pillow where she always slept. Lottie reached over and rubbed the cat’s head. “I know you are always here for me, but Knox is a different kind of friend. I was always a loner. In college, even a few of the introverted girls shed their inhibitions and became party animals, but not me. I had a goal in mind. Get the education over with to please my folks and then build houses.”
Prissy meowed, slapped a paw over her eyes, and went to sleep.
“I don’t know if I’m happy with being just friends with Knox or if…” she whispered and closed her eyes.
She dreamed about him—again—that night. She was standing in front of the bathroom mirror and rubbing a little extra face cream into the wrinkles in her face. Knox came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He told her she was beautiful and sang part of the old song titled “Forever and Ever, Amen.” The lyrics talked about him loving her even if all her hair fell out. She slowly turned around and laid her face on his chest, and then that damned rooster started crowing.
She left the beautiful dream and opened her eyes to see that the sun was only a tiny sliver of orange and barely sending any light at all through her bedroom window. She jerked her pillow out from under her head and crammed it down tightly over her face, leaving only her nose clear. But no matter how tightly she closed her eyes, she couldn’t bring back the dream or capture the feeling she had.
Cheeto crowed again, this time longer and louder, and woke Prissy up. The cat growled and jumped up on the headboard. She stuck her head between the curtains and made that eerie sound in her throat of when she chased a cricket or that one time when she cornered a field mouse in the trailer.
“I know, baby girl,” Lottie said. “I would gladly bring Cheeto’s pretty head to you on a platter for breakfast, butKnox kind of likes him. But if this keeps happening, I’ll turn you outside to put an end to that bird. I could have slept another hour, but now that you are awake, I’ll have to get up and feed you. Or you might claw your way through that window to end all crowing forevermore.”
When the noise stopped, Prissy hopped down from the bed and headed for the kitchen. Lottie threw back the covers and peeked out the window. The rooster was sitting on the side mirror of her truck, looking at his reflection and seeming to dare that bird to try to take his new place in the world. He threw his head back to get enough air to crow again. Before he could get it out, Knox grabbed him and carried him away.
“Why couldn’t you have done that before he woke me up?” Lottie grumbled as she filled Prissy’s food and water bowls.
She made a small pot of coffee, poured herself a cup, and carried it out to the front steps to watch the sunrise since she was already awake. The dream that Cheeto had so rudely interrupted came back to her mind. She wanted to know what happened next. For that matter, she would have loved to have seen the past, to have known if they were married, or still friends—or maybe they’d grown old together as friends with benefits. Suddenly, she needed to see the whole show.
