“I couldn’t bear the pain of not being with you, and then there was theboringthing, and I just lost it. My mind said ‘just get it over with.’ Cut your losses and face the heartachenow. My heart said something different and…” She paused again.
“What’s going on with this boring thing and you?”
“I’ve never talked to anyone about it, not my mother, or Uncle Jack or even the school counselor.” She kept her eyes on the beer bottle as if it mesmerized her. “When I was in elementary school, I was taller than all the other kids, even the boys. Since I was towered above them, the other kids got it in their heads that I had to be older than any of them and was held back a couple of years. They called me ‘dummy’ and whispered behind my back. Always loud enough that I could hear them, but low enough that the teachers didn’t. Somehow, I knew that if I tattled, things would get worse, so I kept my mouth shut. To top it all off, I grew so fast that I was clumsy. I’m not telling you this for pity. I don’t want that, but I do want you to understand.”
“I’m ready to make a bunch of grown adults pick up highway trash to pay for their sins as children,” Knox said through clenched teeth.
“I learned to be a loner. When the recess time rolled around, I sat alone and read books. Then I got into junior high school, and things got worse. I didn’t fit in with any of the cliques. My grades were so good they couldn’t call me dummy anymore, but I became Loser Lottie, because I didn’t have friends. After that was high school, and I’d already been tagged a misfit that couldn’t even be in one of the other oddball groups, so I became Boring Lottie.”
Knox scooted over closer to her. “I’m so sorry.”
“No one knew me in college, but part of that was my fault. I didn’t know how to be a friend or have one either. I was just the awkward girl who only went to a couple of parties and felt so out of place that I spent the twenty minutes I was there hiding in the shadows. Now fast-forward to my first boyfriend. I thought I was in love, and when we broke up, he told me that he couldn’t stand to be with someone as boring as me. That stung because that’s what the popular girls in high school called me.
“The next one said nothing about me was exciting, and he couldn’t tie himself to a woman that was boring. The third one was a loser, but by then I figured that he was the only kind of guy a person like me could catch. He wouldn’t work, and when he left, he cleaned out my bank account and left me with a couple of maxed-out credit cards. I refuse to be a victim, so don’t pity me.”
“I’m not,” Knox said. “I was thinking that you are pretty damn strong to survive all that.”
She took another long drink of her beer and stared at the bottle a while longer before she went on. “I planned on us only being in a fake relationship, and then I started liking you, and that turned into love, but I kept telling myself that pretty soon that other shoe would drop. Just thinking about it hurt so bad that I couldn’t breathe. When you said that I would be bored if we went on anything but weekend trips, it triggered something inside me, and I ran.”
“Why didn’t you tell me all this before?” Knox asked.
“I was afraid you would figure out that I am awkwardwhen it comes to relationships and boring, and that”—another pause—“you could do much better than being saddled with a giant sunflower when you could have a petite little rose. I shouldn’t have left without giving you a chance to explain.”
Knox moved over until his shoulder was against hers. “No, you shouldn’t have. Now it’s my turn to talk, but I want you to look at me.”
She turned her face toward him, and he could not only see the pain in her brown eyes, but also feel it radiating from her whole body. He tilted her chin up with his fist and barely blinked when he started to talk.
“Don’t let your past define what we have. I have always felt like the lucky one in this relationship. To have a gorgeous woman like you beside me seems surreal. At the end of the day, to be able to talk to you about my dreams and have you really listen when I’m all up in a discussion about two-by-fours and trusses is a blessing. You understand me and, honey, the other shoe—or, in my case, a work boot—is never going to drop. You are not boring, and anytime you want to take a week off and go anywhere, the mountains or beach or out in the middle of a desert, I’m ready to go with you. We can fly or road trip in a vehicle or even in one of our trailers so that we can take Bally and Prissy with us. I don’t think Cheeto would travel too well, but if that’s what you want, we can cage him up and take him too.”
“Are you sure?” she asked with a weak smile.
Knox kissed her on the forehead. “I’m damn sure.”
“Then you will accept my apology?”
“Of course, but from now on, let’s be honest and talk to each other when we have a problem.”
“I promise,” she said.
That time, the kiss was on her lips.
Chapter 24
Swan Song Estates was looking more like a group of small cabins or a tiny, gated community rather than a construction site the evening that the moving truck was supposed to arrive with Mandy and Jack’s belongings. The gate had been installed with the name of the place painted around a swan swimming on the lake. The siren and lights had been replaced with a new security system linked to the police station in Wichita Falls.
“Hey, everyone,” Jack yelled to the teams that were still there. “I just got a text from Mandy that they are five minutes out.”
“Then our showers will wait until after we help y’all get unloaded,” Knox said.
“But Knox and I have first dibs after we get through,” Lottie called out.
Thomas gave her a smart salute. “Yes, ma’am. Now, let’s all get out on the cabin porch and give Mandy a proper welcome.”
The big moving truck pulled up in front of the house with Mandy right behind it in her SUV. She got out and waved at the crowd. “I’m home!” she yelled.
“Welcome!” everyone shouted, and they were at the back of the truck by the time the driver lowered the ramp.
“Oh. My. Goodness!” Mandy gasped. “I wasn’t expecting this much help.”
