CJ had refused to talk about it since. To talk to him at all. The only good to come of that night was Shelley’s decision to stop hooking.
The truth was he couldn’t change what he’d done. Maybe if he were in CJ’s shoes he would feel the same way. Maybe forgiveness was too much to ask for. CJ didn’t see any aspect of sex as casual. Each step in a relationship, every kiss, was an important decision. That was the reason last night had completely blown him away. He still couldn’t believe it had happened.
“That night Shelley was scared,” he said, the anger gone from his voice. “Scared and alone. I’m sorry as hell you can’t deal with it, but it’s done. I can’t change what happened.”
“Did she tell you she was pregnant?”
Surprise flared in his gut. “Are you certain about that?” Shelley hadn’t mentioned being pregnant. She’d sworn she wasn’t in the businessanymore. He’d gotten the impression once or twice that she was seeing someone. But when he’d asked, she’d insisted it was nothing. Just friends having fun.
“That’s right, Braddock.” CJ hugged her arms around herself, managed to summon some more of that anger. “She was pregnant. Ricky says you were the only man he ever saw her with.”
So that was what this was all about. Maybe it was time CJ knew the rest of the story. It wouldn’t make things any easier between them. In fact, she’d probably hate him even more. But he couldn’t keep this from her any longer. “We were friends, CJ. That’s all. I was there for her when she needed me. Kind of like Abbott is there for you,” he threw in, mainly because he was jealous as hell of how CJ idolized the older man. Abbott was perfect. Never hurt her. Never screwed up!
When she would have launched a rebuttal, he cut her off. “About three months ago Shelley brought up the idea of trying to bring down Tyrone Nash. She was sick of seeing the folks in this village preyed upon. She wanted things to change. She wanted to be free of his influence and control.”
Realization dawned in those blue eyes. CJ could see where he was going. But he knew she wasn’t going to understand.
“So you took her up on it?” she accused. “Used her?” She shook her head. “I knew it.”
“I recognize my responsibility in her death.” No point in pretending otherwise. It haunted him every minute of every day, right alongside his responsibility in his niece’s death. The fight suddenly drained out of him. He dropped back into the chair. “If I hadn’t agreed to allow her participation, she might still be alive.”
CJ stood there without saying anything.
Braddock wished there was something he could say or do, but there was nothing ... other than making the man responsible for Shelley’s murder pay. “The goal was noble,” he went on when she said nothing, asked nothing. “Shelley let me know in no uncertain terms thatif I didn’t help her, she would attempt her goal alone. I couldn’t let her do that.”
“She didn’t tell me what the two of you were doing,” CJ finally said absently, as if her full attention was somewhere else—anywhere but here with him.
“Did she tellyoushe was pregnant?” he ventured, knowing that couldn’t be the case since CJ hadn’t mentioned it when she’d ID’d the body.
“No.” Pain cracked in her voice and he wanted to take back the question but it was too late.
“I found prenatal vitamins from her last visit to the clinic.”
She chewed her bottom lip a moment before continuing. “She just got the lab results on Friday. But that leaves plenty of time for her to have informed the father, who likely found the idea more than a little inconvenient.”
“Shelley didn’t talk to me about being involved with anyone. When I specifically asked that question, she insisted the only thing she did was hang out with friends.” He was as surprised to hear Shelley had been pregnant as CJ must have been. “Our every conversation and meeting was focused on Nash. She wanted to initiate change, I wanted to help her. That’s all there was between us. Ever.”
CJ blinked as if coming out of a trance. A kaleidoscope of emotions played out across her face, finally landing on that too familiar rage at him. “I guess that makes you a hero, Braddock. What was she doing? Passing along Nash’s movements, his schedule, to you? Playing the part of undercover operative for your investigation? You helped her, all right.” CJ backed a step away from him, distancing herself physically and emotionally. “Helped her get murdered.”
The band of guilt tightened around his chest. He wasn’t trying to dodge the bullet here. He knew exactly what he’d done.
“And the baby,” CJ added as if she’d only just thought of it herself. “The baby was murdered too. Seems like she gave up a hell of a lot to let you help her. I hope you’re doing the same to find her killer.”
She turned away from him, walked to the door, opened it wide. “Goodbye,DetectiveBraddock.”
He couldn’t argue with her anymore. At the door, he hesitated. “Think very carefully about how you proceed from here, CJ,” he cautioned. “Nash will be watching you. That warning he left said it all. No matter the good you think you’re doing, the wrong kind of interference could get you hurt, and it could adversely affect this investigation.”
“Is that a threat?”
What the hell?“No, it’s not a threat. It’s a statement of fact. I’m on top of this investigation. I won’t stop until it’s done.”
Anger tightened her lips. “Consider yourself warned, Detective.Iwon’t stop until it’s done.”
CJ marched down the steps and watched Braddock drive away. Her body shook with the fury twisting through her. Why hadn’t Shelley told her about this? That one was simple: Shelley had known CJ would attempt to talk her out of the idea.
Why hadn’t Braddock told her? Another easy answer: They hadn’t been on speaking terms. And he had known she wouldn’t agree with the decision. Even now, he knew more than he was sharing. Every time they discussed the investigation, she got that feeling that he was leaving something out.
And Jesus Christ, she had been right.
