“Then why would you call what we could have afling?”
“That’s what it would be once you realize I’m not worth the trouble. But, by that point, we’d have made any hope of being siblings really awkward.”
I have called this woman a dominatrix. I do believethe hope of being siblingsship has sailed well beyondawkward. “You don’t think I’m serious?”
“I don’t think we fit romantically. It’s probably a proximity thing. You don’t get out much. I’m the only unattached girl near you. You didn’t start pursuing me until after Kaleb and Crimson got together, probably because you thought I had a thing for Kaleb and you weren’t going to mess with that. I’m just…convenient.”
I approach her, stopping inches away. “I didn’t start pursuing you when we met because I wasn’t in love with you yet, Morana. I fell before Crimson and Kaleb were a thing. I held my tongue because I did think for a bit that you were in love with him and it would be cruel to impose my feelings on you while you were getting over him. Honesty is important to me. I’m not like my older brothers. I don’t see any point in keeping any cards close to my chest, waiting on a better moment or opportunity for the heck of it. I didn’t act out of consideration, and when that consideration became irrelevant, Ipounced. Knowledge is power. I will lay myself bare for your abuse, and I will enjoy the pain. I do not merelylikeyou, mistress. I love you. I want you. I would marry you today if you let me.”
Heat soaks into her skin, and she says, “But…why? What’s so special about me?”
“Everything.”
“That’s a ridiculous answer,” she mutters.
“I’m comfortable around you. You’re quick witted. You’re funny. You’re strong. You’re patient. I love the way your brain works and all the things you come up with. I think you’re fascinating. I think you’re beautiful. There isn’t a moment that goes by where I do not want to touch you. I starve for it. The only reason I don’t even test touching you is out of respect for you and the fear I would not be able to stop. I desireeverything.”
Her lips part beneath wide eyes, torturing me with the fact I can’t kiss her. If I dared try, I’d be scrambling to get her behind closed doors.Anyclosed doors. Just something that locks. There doesn’t even need to be furniture in the room. I’d press her into the wall and take my time exploring every inch.
This is not a subtle wanting.
This is months of wishing our skin would graze. This is months of collecting the spare moments when her fingers have accidentally met mine as she’s passed me things. This is months of yearning to make her mine.
I say, “I’m not your brother. Just because my stupid brother got to your sister first doesn’t mean anything to me. The only family position I’m offering you in my brain, Morana, iswife. Take that or leave it. Those are your options.”
She takes a step back. “I’m leaving it.”
Pain, hot and cold, floods my system, but I nod. “Do you want me to stop pursuing you?”
Her eyes close. “I don’t want to lead you on. I just want to be…family.”
“If you don’t tell me to stop, I will follow you forever, whether you intend to lead me or not. Until the moment someone else takes you as theirs, I will love you openly. And, then, I will love quietly, watching for your lover to fail you in ways I would never allow, waiting with bated breath to save you.”
Grimacing, she glances at me. “So in your demented brain I wind up with you or in a toxic relationship?”
“It wouldn’t have to be toxic. It would just have to fail to make you blissfully happy. All the time.”
“Oh, like you could do that?”
“If you’d let me, yes.”
Her eyes roll. “You can’t even put your clothes in the hamper like I ask, Kyran. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I would fold my clothes in the hamper if you were coming to bed with me, Morana. I’m sure I’d find other ways to tease you if you were with me all night long. But, for now, I use what I can get to scrape together an ounce more of your attention, lest I die without it.”
She cannot meet my eyes anymore as her flesh holds scarlet. “I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“Tell me to stop.”
“I don’t trust that this level of passion is sustainable, and I don’t know what I’d do if I accepted it, then lost it.”
“Then tell me to stop.”
“Kyran…”
Bending, I use one cautious finger to push the curtain of her hair behind her ear, then I whisper, “I am yours, mistress. You own my passion. You cannot lose it. It is sustained by your command.Undo me.”
My phone begins to ring, so I step back and take it from my pocket while Morana breathes heavy and stares at the ground by our feet.
