I arch a brow. An apron for Lukas? An apron for the man who walks around half-naked, eight pack on eternal display, even in winter? Ever since he and Clara became a couple, the black t-shirts I usually saw him in when he returned from tour fizzled away, and he relapsed back to his branding as the clothing-impaired popstarKing. “Why are you making him an apron? He’ll have to do laundry if you give him clothes.”Iwon’t have to do his laundry, mind you, because whatever slim amount of laundry he has presently isneverin his hamper. My brows furrow, and I push myself up. “Wait. Better question: why is it frilly?”
“I’m only following orders.”
“Whose?”
“Clara’s.”
Ah. That makes sense.
I fall back against the downy comforter and stare at the ceiling. “They’ve got a really odd relationship, those two.”
“I think it’s sweet.” Her sewing machine starts back up, and she feeds it fabric. “They rely on each other completely.”
Mm. Can’t relate.
“It’s beautiful how much love has taken root here, considering what all the Bachelor boys had to deal with growing up.”
Abuse. Mental, physical, emotional. Their parents were not kind people. It really is astonishing how each and every one of these men has firmly denied continuing a cycle that would have been so easy to perpetuate.
They have the money.
They have the power.
They chose to love instead of abuse.
And, yes, that is beautiful.
It’s like Kaleb once told me when I asked him why no one knew he was also a Bachelor and our conversation dissolved into explaining how their parents were terrible and why he ran away from it all and how they’d erased him from the limelight.
He said, despite the past, the future is all about growing flowers where dirt used to be, and he’s grateful that he doesn’t have to carry a stage now that his abusers are gone. He’sgratefulto have his family back without so much of the pain.
He told me that he still has to get his hands dirty to plant his flowers for the future; he said he still has to address a history of filth in order to move forward.
But it’s worth it.
It’s worth it because once the flowers bloom, you don’t need to mess with the soil as much. You might still need an adjustment or two for them to thrive, but mostly you’ll get to care for them directly, enjoying as they flourish and cover up the soil entirely.
Instead of mourning the dirt patches, he said we can let them feed our future.
No wonder Kyran thought I was in love with the man…
Kaleb isn’t my type, but I respect him a lot and have come to rely on him more than makes sense.
“Am I interesting?” I ask my big sister.
“Um. What?” Maelin asks.
No, then. Okay. Thanks, sis.
I mutter, “Like, what’s a positive trait about me?”
The sewing machine chugs along, every second without a reply building like proof in my chest. It’s proof that I’m not being hard on myself. It’s proof that this isn’t anoh, she just needs togrow and appreciate herself bettersituation. It’s proof that I do know what I am. And one of the only three people in this world I trust knows it, too.
“You’re eclectic,” she says at last.
My muscles sag. “What?”
“You’re like a kaleidoscope. Every time I look at you, you’re into something different.”
