December, the prettiest person in the world, does not oblige my narration, choosing to instead draw a little heart in the margin of my latest novel while her legs sway. “Don’t you have work to do?” she asks.
Nose wrinkling, I turn toward my computer and the list of deliverables I’m supposed to be chugging my way through for Mont Business. Alas, the program my esteemed employer uses to organize everything is…overwhelming. Neat and tidy, sure. Buta lot. Every item comes with colorful details, sub-assignments, and deadlines.
Emails. Follow-ups. Phone calls. Reports. Reviews.
As a virtual assistant, the variety of what I manage is determined solely by the whim of my boss, and their boss, and that boss, andfinallymy favorite, the big boss, Ali Montgomery. That means I do everything from reviewing and condensing the latest studies to scheduling appointments for the hierarchy that stands above me. Whatever ends up tagged with my name in this program, I handle.
And, right now, that means I should be tidying multiple inboxes.
Despite this, I instead use my free will to clutter an inbox I shall never see myself sorting, as it is entirely leagues above my paygrade.
Today, 6:26 p.m.
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: What if…
Greetings esteemed slave driver:
What if instead of work tonight, we just watch anime?
May this petition find itself within the bounds of your mercy and grace, which I know you possess in abundance.
Barely holding on,
August
(Your Favorite) Virtual Assistant
Does Ali’s business offer twenty-thousand-dollar business management courses, done-for-you management for literal millionaires, and other expensive, highly professional services?
Sure.
Do I ever act like it?
Absolutely not.
It’s far more fun, after all, to pretend she’sjust like other girls. Grinning, I click when her reply comes through.
Today, 6:30 p.m.
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: RE: What if…
Good evening wee slave:
I’ve neither mercy nor grace. Adorable you thought otherwise.
Duct taping your hand to mine that we might hold on together,
Ali Montgomery
(YourFavorite) CEO
