She continued. “I saved the number in my phone because I thought about contacting them, but when I told Albert, he said hell to the no. Can you believe he didn’t even take time to think about it? Just gave my ass a flat out ‘no.’” She laughed, but the spaced out look in her eyes was visible. Cassie probably had a flashback of her husband’s reaction when she mentioned surrogacy to him.
I remained silent, and she seized the moment to keep talking.
“If it wasn’t for him, I would’ve gladly been on someone’s table, letting the doctor plant some random stranger’s seed in my womb. That sounds crazy, but what ain’t crazy is getting a fat ass check when it’s all done.”
“Cassie, crazy is the right word. I don’t blame your husband for saying ‘no,’” I said, finally speaking up.
“Y’all just don’t see the bigger picture. Everyone can use some extra money. Anyway, it won’t hurt to consider it. Imagine making a lump sum of money that can put you and Rhema in a different position.”
I stood there contemplating what she said, but it wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t convinced.
“I’ll give you the number. Ember, you never know. Keep an open mind. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get ahead in life.”
“Cassie, I don’t know any Black folks becoming no surrogate.”
“Trust me, I’m sure there’s plenty. We just don’t hear about ’em.”
“Hmm… I don’t know. You had me expecting to hear something good… something realistic, you know.”
“Realistic? How much more realistic can becoming a surrogate be?”
I stared at a box filled to the rim with vintage picture frames before looking back at Cassie. “I just think you’re insane for taking that commercial serious. That type of thing isn’t meant for people like us.”
“People like who? It’s for anyone with a healthy womb and anyone who’s willing to help a family. Yeah, it sounds bizarre, but hey, so what? Ember, just take the info.”
Cassie held her phone in one hand and scribbled something on a notepad she found on a table nearby.
She looked up and glanced at me. “Ember, stop looking at me like I got two heads.” She giggled and handed me the paper dangling between her fingers.
Without saying another word, I accepted it. I didn’t bother looking at what she had jotted down. It went into my vest pocket along with old receipts I had there. I planned to throw it away later.
I allowed Cassie to get my hopes up for nothing. At first, she had me thinking I would get the answer that would eliminate most of my money problems. Instead, she presented a far-fetched ass idea to me. It was clear we weren’t going to see eye to eye on this subject.
I didn’t have the slightest idea how that process went, nor was I trying to find out. In my eyes, it was easier said than done. All I knew was what came with pregnancy: the body changes, the aches and pain, the stretch marks, the raging hormones, and everything else that came with bringing a baby into this world.
Most importantly, the possibility of bonding with a child I couldn’t keep.
Nope, I can’t do it. Just thinking about all the what ifs was too much for a passionate woman like me.
“Are you going to at least think about it?” Cassie asked, snapping me from my thoughts.
“Okay, okay. I’ll think about it. Does that sound good?”
She grinned. “Actually, it does. That’s all I’m asking you to do.”
Just when I was going to respond, Cassie’s attention shifted toward the front window that faced the parking lot.
“Come on, Ember. Here comes Mr. Gross, with his gross ass.”
We both laughed and got back to work.
“Momma, I have a project due next week. I need markers, a large poster board, and a few other things,” Rhema mentioned when we walked into our apartment.
I took a deep breath, regretting spending my last on the phone bill. Paying that bill left my bank account balance at $0.45, and I wouldn’t get paid again for another two weeks.
Guilt washed over me. My palms became sweaty. My eyes began to twitch, and my heart fluttered nonstop. I couldn’tafford something so simple as school supplies for my daughter’s school project.
“Okay, love bug. I’ll get everything you need,” I told her as I struggled to swallow the growing lump in my throat. “Go shower. I’ll get started on dinner soon.”
