She didn’t stop crying.
I felt where she was coming from, but in life, we all make mistakes, but I didn’t hold anything against her. Usually, women got mad at the other woman who didn’t owe her any loyalty, and not mad enough at the man who cheated on her. In our case, this woman didn’t know me, so she didn’t owe me shit.
Blaming the ‘other woman’ is where a lot of people got it twisted. This type of mindset protects men from taking accountability, and it gives them room to cheat inpeace. If they face no consequences, they will continue to do them because, in their mind, they believe we’ll always come back after they dous dirty. And sometimes we do stay, but after so many times, we have to start asking ourselves, is this nigga really worth the constant hurt and pain they put us through?
They have us feeling angry, hating the other woman, anxious, unsettled, questioning our worth, have our nervous system stuck in survival mode, and unlocking a whole new level of trauma just trying to prove ourselves to them. The list goes on. All because the man we chose to entertain didn’t have enough respect for us, or even himself. And the worst part? They go on living their best lives while we’re left heartbroken and mentally fucked up.
I promise if the roles were reversed, and we treated men the same way they treated us, or if we did the same things they did to us back to them, they wouldn’t be able to handle it, not even a little.
I retrieved my phone from my purse and unlocked it. “Here.” I passed her my phone. “Save your number, and I’ll check on you and Orisha.”
With tears still rolling down her cheeks, she typed in her contact information. When she was done, I looked down at the name she stored herself under.Mercedes.
“Mercedes,” I said, now knowing her name. “I’ll send you a text right now. Save my number.”
She sniffled and wiped her nose with a piece of balled up tissue she took out of her jacket pocket. “I will. I’ll let you two get back to shopping.” Mercedes looked down at my belly once more. “And again, congratulations.”
“Thank you. Take care of yourself. I’ll keep you and Orisha in my prayers.”
“I appreciate that. We need all the prayers we can get.”
I nodded.Don’t we all?
Mercedes went in the opposite direction, and I watched until she was out of my sight.
Cassie tilted her head and made direct eye contact with me. “You okay, Ember?”
“No, but I will be. Let’s get out of here, Cass. I’ve had enough shopping for the day.”
She reached for the bags I carried and held them for me as we headed toward the exit.
All I wanted to do now was go home, shower, and sleep away the heavy feeling I felt in my heart.
CHAPTER 27
SAJE
Icouldn’t believe I had agreed to all this shit. Everything was happening so fast. Reason went from bringing up the idea of a surrogate to finding one, and now he was pressing to have a gender reveal for a baby I didn’t want. It was becoming harder trying to hide my true feelings the longer this went on. Plenty of times I had to check myself because I kept coming close to revealing how I truly felt about the entire situation. Once I remembered that I could risk losing Reason if he found out, I got myself together fast. Losing him wasn’t going to happen.
After our little argument weeks ago, I saw how angry he got when I disagreed with anything pertaining to his child. I wondered if this was how our lives would be moving forward. And if this was how it was going to be, I wondered if this was something I could handle for the rest of my life.
The way he spoke to me shocked the fuck out of me. In all my years of knowing Reason, I had never seen him get that upset. Shit, I could say the same for myself. He always catered to me, compromised, and did everything to make me smile. Yes, he did ask multiple times if this was a journey I was ready for, and although I said, “Yes,” he should’ve been able to read my mind or something. He should’ve known I didn’t want a life that includeda baby… an extra responsibility. He and I were enough, and I loved it that way.
Showing up to a gender-reveal party with our family and friends in attendance was the last thing I wanted to do. I would have to pretend like I was all jolly and shit. Thank goodness I was a great actress because I didn’t know how I would have been able to play this off for as long as I had if I wasn’t one.
“Why the fuck do I have to clear my schedule for another bitch’s gender reveal?” I fussed as I took off my jeans.
“That bitch you’re speaking of is pregnant with your husband’s baby… A baby both of you will be raising together.” Ezekiel sat on the stool with his legs open, watching me.
I wanted to slap the smirk I saw off his face.
“Nigga, whose side are you on?” I snapped, kicking my pants across the dressing room.
I slid my dress off the hanger and then stepped into the silky garment. Still feeling my anger rising, I stood in front of Ezekiel with my back facing him, wanting him to zip up the gown.
Instead of zipping up my dress, his lips grazed my back. His wet kisses instantly caused goosebumps to form on my skin. “I’m on yo’ side, Saje. You know that,” he whispered and continued kissing all over my back.
“Boy, shut up and help me zip up this dress,” I demanded, feeling the aftermath of his back kisses between my legs, but not in the mood to be toyed with.
