“They’re here because they’re guests. We offer LGBTQ kids a place to stay.” I choked on my tart so hard Jesse had to beat me on the back with a fist. When the crust came up I spat it out the open door then gaped at my little brother. “You asked.”
“And Abel is down with packs of roaming teen queers on his ranch?”
“Not his ranch anymore and Abel has no clue as to our outreach programs. Abel doesn’t recall what he did yesterday.”
I found a bottle of water under the bed, opened it, and drank down a few long gulps.
“This place is not the same place it was when I was being kicked around like a soccer ball,” I mumbled.
“No, thank God. So, back to your neck.”
“For fuck’s sake give it a rest.”
“Do I know him?”
“Fuck all the way off. I’m not discussing my romance with you.”
“Oh, it’s a romance?”
I turned my head slowly to glower at the ass. “Look, it’s nothing. I don’t ask you about you and Lucas.”
“You could.”
“I could but I don’t because it ain’t none of my business. Just like what I do off this ranch ain’t none of yours. You might be the boss when I’m here but when I step foot off Snow Creek property what I do and with who is my business and mine alone.”
He nodded. “Fair. Okay, I’ll let it be. You good to get on a horse?” He rose slowly, tucking his tarts into his back pocket for later I assumed.
“Yeah, it’s fine. Start rehab next week. Be out of your hair in six weeks or thereabout.” I crammed another tart into my face, chewing as I followed him down the ramp to the dewy grass.
“I don’t mind you in my hair.”
I let that sink in while I washed down the last bite of my breakfast. Not that I didn’t know what to say but because I wished his reply didn’t make me feel so squishy. Getting close would only hurt when I left, which was a concern for me and Aubrey as well but I pushed both worries aside to find me a horse to ride. Sweat and hard work cleared a man’s mind as the old cowpokes liked to say.
Staying awayfrom Aubrey proved to be stupidly hard.
I lasted a week of physical distance. We texted back and forth all day long though. He was the chattiest man I had ever met. He could talk about anything at great length and did. It was pretty endearing even if our chat thread was wildly unbalanced. Even texting I tended to be quiet. I was happy to let him ramble on and nod via text. As I lay in my cot at night, under a lighter blanket that might have been Adobe’s, I could envision me and Aubrey as old married men. Him talking steadily as we rocked side-by-side on his front porch, him with a book in his hand, me with my poetry journal. All the while I’d be rocking, writing verse, and saying, “Yes, dear” or “You’re right, dear” like most old married couples do.
And that imagery scared the shit out of me. Yet, I lingered, and I texted, and I agreed to come to the bookshop for the first poetry reading night. Yes, I wanted another evening with Aubrey. I longed to kiss him, cuddle him, and make him as happy as I could. That also scared me but I still gussied up for the big night. I combed my hair, pulled on clean clothes, and shined my boots. The shine didn’t do much for the old Ariat’s but at least the horse manure had been brushed off.
A sharp rap on the door of my trailer as I tucked my lone dress shirt into my jeans startled me. Flinging a glance at my visitor I wasn’t surprised to see my brother and his man gazing in at me.
“Guess I need to start shutting them doors,” I said while I tucked.
“We were going to the Saddle Up for dinner. You want to come?” Jesse asked as he looked me over closely. Far tooclosely. He’d been like a bloodhound on the daily trying to sniff out who’d given me that mark on my neck. He’d come up emptyhanded. I played my romance cards close to the chest. Years of hiding trysts taught you how to keep your mouth closed.
“That money you won off me last night burning a hole in your pocket?” I asked as I settled my hat on my head.
“Kind of. I told Lucas this meal would taste better than most as it was on your dime.” Jesse smirked. Wise-ass kid.
“Dime hell. Those were bills. I’ll never save enough for the entry fees,” I tossed out.
“Maybe that’s my wicked plan,” Jesse sort of playfully replied. Lucas gave his arm a soft tug. “Kidding. I won’t be a burden.”
“You ain’t a burden. Never were.” And there we were, in the same stupid awkward place we seemed to find ourselves more and more. Both of us too damn pigheaded to say what was truly in our hearts. That he didn’t want me to go and that I…well, I was starting to wonder if life on the road was what I wanted at this stage of my life. Not that I had any other way to make a living. Most places didn’t hire on numbskulls who hadn’t graduated from high school. “All kidding aside, I would go but I’m kind of attending this poetry reading at High Noon Reads tonight.”
That brought a light to my brother’s eyes. “Are you reading your work?”
“Hell no. I got no work to read.” The lie was bitter on my tongue. I did have work. Lots of it, so many that my notebook was half filled. Something—or someone—had inspired me. One more thing that thrilled and terrified me all at once.
