“Dexter said you wanted to talk. So let’s talk.”
Trying to pull out of his grip so I could look at him, he held me tighter. “I want to look at you and talk.”
“No, this is good.” He loosened his grip on me slightly.
Quietly, I ripped the Band-Aid off. “What are we doing, Bunny? I need an answer because this not knowing is driving me crazy. I think it’s pretty clear that things are very different now, but what does that mean? I tried really hard to just leave it alone and pretend that things were back to how they were, but you two have made that impossible.”
Bunny tilted my head backward and gently placed his lips on mine in a kiss. “Can I just say that I like you way more than you probably realize? And I like seeing you with Dex even more than that.” He kissed me again, this time more intensely. But I couldn’t give in. I couldn’t keep letting my attraction to him take control.
Reluctantly, I stopped the kiss. “I like you too, both of you. More than just friends like we were. But that means I’m really fucking worried about you, Bunny. Dexter told me about the nightmares. The drugs.” He turned his head away from me, so I turned away too. “I’m not asking you to tell me anything you don’t want to, Bunny. I’m just asking you to let me in, a little bit. When you’re ready.”
He let out a long sigh. “Telling you everything wouldn’t be possible. What I can tell you is that I was ready to kill that guy at your house last night. You can’t go back there. You can’t live there.”
“Trust me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m trying my best to get the fuck out.”
“You are out, Marlowe. You’re here.” Bunny’s words were final. I didn’t feel like I could argue with him.
Tossing my head back, I sighed. “Yeah, I’m here now. But that was just last night. I’m trying to get out long term and find a new place to live. Francesca is a mess, and I can’t get through to her. If she’s not going to listen to me, then I need to get the fuck away. I can’t see her throw her life away as our mom did.End up pregnant by some worthless piece of shit and let her kids struggle like we did just to live.”
Bunny squeezed me to his chest. “Your mom didn’t love you?”
I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know if she didn’t love us. But she sure as hell wasn’t a mom. When our dad or her boyfriends would hit her, or she would cry, I would try to console her. She never paid attention to me or would just shove me off. We had to fend for ourselves most of the time. Then she died when I was 18, and I had to raise my sister until she turned 18.” My head fell back to Bunny’s shoulder. “Then Francesca just fell off the deep end. She stopped listening to me after she graduated high school. Following right in our mom’s footsteps.”
Bunny pushed me forward gently and moved out from behind me. All of the movement on the couch had caused Dojo to jump down and lie on the floor. When Bunny sat back down, he was sitting directly in front of me. He reached out and pushed a few strands of hair from my face. I took in his appearance. His bleach blonde hair was grown out a bit, and his dark roots showed. It was a good look on him, though. The straight strands were tousled from his rough towel-dry after the shower. He looked perfectly disheveled. He looked like a dream.
“Well, I’m telling you right now, Marlowe. You aren’t going back there. You’re staying here. No question.” Bunny cupped my cheek and lightly pressed his lips to mine. “I don’t think I would have ever thought I would be in the position I’m in right now, but this thing,” he gestured between himself, me, and down the hallway. “This is everything I ever dreamed of. I never want it to end. I like this that we have going on with Dexter, whatever it is. But I cannot let you live there. So you coming to stay with us just makes sense, right?”
Shaking my head in disbelief, my eyebrows pulled together. “Bunny, that’s too much. I can’t ask you guys to take me in.”
“You’re not asking us, Marlowe. I’m telling you. You’re staying here.” The look he gave me was serious. I didn’t feel like I could argue with him.
Licking my lips, I looked at him in his sweet brown eyes. “Okay, but I’m paying you guys rent.” Bunny rolled his eyes and kissed me. I pulled away. “And the moment I get in your way, I’m leaving. You have to tell me if I need to leave! Dojo can be a menace sometimes. He seems all cute, but he’s a pain in the ass. Plus, I have quirks so…” he cut me off with another kiss. “I’m serious, Bunny.” My tone was firm when I broke the kiss this time.
He nodded in understanding. “But no rent. Dex won’t agree to that either.” The smile that lit up his face sent butterflies to my stomach. Gripping his face, I kissed him with fierce passion before we settled back into the couch to watch TV until Dexter brought us coffee.
twenty-two
cabinets
Bunny - Age: 6
The bathroom cabinet smelled old and dusty. There were a lot of different things to clean the bathroom with that Mama said I wasn’t allowed to touch. They were still yelling at each other. Dad said something about leaving, and Mama got upset.
It was the same thing almost every night. I tried to find something I could fix myself for dinner. Normally it was a peanut butter sandwich or cereal with no milk. The milk always smelled funny. Mama would lock me in the bathroom before Dad got home.
Something crashed in the other room, and my hands shot to my ears to block the sound.
I stopped pounding on the door and begging to be let out. It never worked anyway. I started crawling into the cabinet when my dad threw the door open once, and I hit my head on the wall.
“What would we do with the kid? It's not like we can just leave him,” my mom said.
“That’s your fucking problem, not mine.
When I woke up,everything was dark. It took a second to realize I had fallen asleep in the bathroom cabinet. Listening closely, it was quiet out in the living room. Crawling out of the cabinet, I quietly walked over to the door. Crossing my fingers, I turned the knob. It was unlocked. She always locked the door when she put me in here, and there were a few times that she didn’t unlock it before she let me out.
Tip-toeing to my bedroom, I shut and locked the door, then crawled into bed.
Dad’s alarm went off the next morning, and I jumped up quickly, getting ready. I had to beat him out to the kitchen.
