Why do I have to run into him here, of all places? Now, of all times? I will him not to look at the counter, but of course, my luck has gone to shit. He looks down, his eyes widening in surprise. The cashier rings up my test and tells me the amount. I pay, glancing back at Daniel again.
“Well, you’ve got a lot going on, don’t you?” he says. “Does Tully know?” He pauses. “Isit Tully’s?”
I grab the test from the clerk and glare at Daniel, not answering him before I walk out. I hear him jogging behind me, and I turn to face him.
“That was uncalled for,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t respond.
“This is an important time for Tully. He’s garnering a lot of attention right now. This is when it’s make-or-break for him. It’s just not the best time?—”
“You think I don’t know that?” I cut in. “I don’t know why you seem to think I’m trying to work against you and Tully with his career. I’m not. I’m hisbiggestfan. I’m cheering him on so hard.” My voice cracks. “I want him to succeed. I want him to have everything he wants. Do you really think I want to stand in the way of that?” I burst into tears and angrily fling them off my face. “You think I don’t know that this is not the ideal time for a baby?” I hold up my bag and shake it. “Hopefully it’s not positive.”
I turn and get into my car, slam the door, and drive away. When I take the test fifteen minutes later and then check the results a couple of minutes after that, the world as I know it changes.
Positive.
It’s a busy time for both Tully and me, so it’s not altogether unusual that we don’t see each other for the next couple of days, but he calls on his way to practice and asks if everything’s okay. We haven’t talked as much as we normallywould, even going in separate directions. I lie and tell him I’m okay, but I can’t stand keeping this secret from him, so after class, I stop by the rink and watch him practice. His happy smile is enough to make my eyes well up, and I try to get it together when he comes over and kisses me between drills.
“I’m so happy to see you,” he says.
“I’m happy to see you too.” I lean on my tiptoes and kiss him again.
“Can you stay, or is this just a quick stop?”
“I’ll stay until you’re done,” I tell him, even though I’m exhausted and feel like I could sleep standing up.
“Love you,” he whispers.
“I love you,” I say before he skates off.
“Lola,” I hear behind me, and I turn to see Daniel standing there.
“You’ve gotta stop sneaking up on me like this,” I tell him.
He gives me a sheepish look, but I can tell he’s not sorry.
“So, are we having a baby?” he asks under his breath.
“Weare not having anything,” I say, pointing between the two of us.
He rolls his eyes. I really despise this man. It’s been a gradual dislike since the first time we met, but it’s skyrocketed to a fervent detesting.
“I need to know what I’m dealing with here, Lola. I’ve got a lot riding on Tully’s future. Yourboyfriendhas a lot riding on the rest of the school year.”
I take a step closer to him, and I can tell it surprises him. “We’ve already been over this, and I think it’s really inappropriate how you keep talking to me about it. This,” I say, waving my hand over my body, “is not your business. I don’t really know what you want me to do.”
“So it was positive then.” He sighs. “Fuck.”
I turn and leave, and he follows me out.
“Leave me alone,” I say.
“Just hear me out, Lola. Is this really what you want? Tully says you want to open your own tattoo shop one day. I could make that happen for you. But is that really the kind of life you want for your baby? You working in a tattoo parlor, and your boyfriend gone all the time? What kind of life is that for a child? What kind of life is that for any of you?”
He’s not saying anything I haven’t already thought about nonstop ever since I found out I’m pregnant.
Before meeting Tully, I wasn’t sure I ever even wanted to have kids. But he makes me want everything, all of it.
