I helped myself to a notebook and pencil, and lucked out on the third case I opened. Inside were the accessories. A smallleather backpack, belts, socks, and a row of watches. Picking them up, I was relieved to see the normal clockface and hands that I was used to. Said hands ticked down to seven o’clock.
“Roman numerals?” I heard myself say. Twisting around, I flipped through the case with books and found textbooks underneath the notebooks. “History of Hell,Intro to Torture,The Great Invasion,” I read aloud. “These are English!”
“They are not,” Sabrina sliced in. “Lord Lucifer would’ve given you fluency in demonic languages. One word of your human tongue spoken here would’ve seen that tongue ripped out of your head.”
“Graphic.” Her words hit me. “So wait, am I speaking demon right now? Have I been doing it all this time?”
She inclined her smooth head.
“Wow. Magic really is something.” I tossed the books back and moved on to another case. A mess of fabric greeted me when I threw it open. “Finally, some... clothes...” The blood drained out of my face. “Oh no...”
I TRUDGED OUT OF THEroom and locked the door behind me. My head hung so low, I could’ve dragged my nose across the floor. Deep in the bowels of my shirt, Sabrina’s snickering hisses assaulted my ears—deepening my blush. She was very much enjoying her lord’s evil and spiteful sense of humor.
That horned, winged beast packed me clothes to wear for sure, and by that I meant he trolled the centuries for the worst fashion trends from every era, and shoved them into my suitcase. An itchy, old-fashioned green tunic with ruffled lace attacking my neck and oversized puffed sleeves, clashed dangerously with bright pink bell-bottomed pants, and jester shoes complete with the curled toes and bells.
And that was the least embarrassing outfit I could pull together. It was like the madman went shopping through the ages, and made sure not to match tops, pants, and shoes to the same one.
“My clothes don’t matter, my clothes don’t matter, my clothes don’t matter,” I mumbled to myself, trying and failing to drown out Sabrina’s laughter. “I’m here for one and one reason only. Nothing else mat—”
I collided with someone’s back, knocking their books out of their hands.
“Oh, sorry about—”
“Argh!” Spinning around, thick, blunt claws ripped from callous fingertips and flew at my throat.
“Ugh!”
He clamped on my neck and popped me off my feet, slamming me against the wall.
I scratched and pounded on his hand—feet desperately kicking at any part of him. My lungs screamed for air.
The enraged face of that beautiful, scarred werewolf filled my vision. “Watch where the fuck you’re going, you filthy dem—” He blinked. Leaning back, he raked me up and down—anger bleeding away and astonishment taking hold.
“Heh.”
My jaw slackened.
Slapping his hand over his mouth, the beautiful stranger took one proper look at me, and snorted so hard he blew his hand right back off his mouth.
“Hahaha!” Laughing his ass off, he released me and fell to the floor—guffawing so hard he had to hold his sides to stop from ripping through his skintight black tee.
I ran.
Hitching my backpack up my shoulder, I burst into a run—flinging myself down the stairs and tearing away from thehowling werewolf. I was so freaking ugly and insane-looking, a bully couldn’t get through tormenting me before collapsing in a fit of giggles. And no! I did not think that’s the outcome Lucifer was going for when he turned me into this walking clown wart!
I burst downstairs into the first-floor dorm wing and caught half a dozen demons as they came out of their rooms—all with badges on their chests and books stuffed under their many-differed arms.
Three of them burst into laughter immediately.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” a lynx demon called to me. “You look like what I found on my cock two days after leaving the brothel.”
“Nah, man,” a damp, scaly, fish demon shot back from across the hall. “No genital wart looks as disgusting as this worm.”
I picked up the pace, blowing past them as fast as I could.
“And what the fuck are you wearing? You look insane.”
“I’d kill myself if I looked like that,” oozed a deeply familiar voice. I didn’t need to look behind me to know it was that cat demon who threw me to my death. “Someone should do it for him. Put him out of his misery.”
