That was, regrettably, true.
He folded the towel once and set it aside. “Fine. I’ll have someone look into it.”
Relief came too quickly, which irritated me further.
But then he looked at me in a way I knew too well, calm and penetrating and already five steps ahead of where I wanted him to be.
I narrowed my eyes. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“It is never nothing.”
“It rarely is,” he agreed.
I waited.
He crossed his arms. “Your father and I are not the most ethical men who’ve ever lived. I trust that by now this has not escaped you. But we have both learned from our mistakes, and you are far too bright for me to pretend you don’t understand what I’m about to say.”
I braced for his next words.
“Our life,” he went on, “is not for the faint of heart. If you bring a woman into it, truly bring her in, she needs more than your desire. More even than your certainty. Getting her tangled up in you while keeping her blind is not protection. It is selfishness.”
“I’m not doing that.”
I went at him harder than I should have, anger making me careless. Hoka shifted smoothly aside, and I hit the mat a second later with enough force to knock the breath from my lungs.
He looked down at me, unimpressed.
“At least give her something,” he said. “You cannot only take. It doesn’t work one way.”
I pushed myself back up, heat climbing my spine for reasons that had nothing to do with exertion. “Oh yes, because you’re an expert.”
“I am.”
The answer came without hesitation.
I stilled.
Hoka picked up the training blade again and turned it once in his hand, his voice quieter now, less mocking.
“I almost lost Violet because of the life I lead,” he said. “Not just physically. Mentally too. Fear does damage in ways bullets cannot. Suspicion does. Silence does. You think you are shielding someone when really you are only deciding, alone, what they are strong enough to bear.”
He looked at me for a long moment, then added, “If she matters, you do not get to build this alone in your head and call it love.”
The words landed harder than the fall had.
I pursed my lips. “I’m not trying to trap her.”
“I know.” His gaze dropped briefly to the cane in my hand, then lifted again. “But you are already thinking too far ahead. I can see it on you.”
That, more than anything, was irksome because it was true.
I looked away first.
Hoka let the silence sit for a moment before stepping back into stance. “Again.”
I frowned. “That is your answer?”
