He’d lived this before, but it was so much worse this time. This time, he knew the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her lips, the dream of what could be between them.
Another memory seared him with white-hot force—Bella’s betrayal. That memory was followed by a thought that had plagued him for years.
You’re not enough. You’ll never be the one chosen.
For the next few hours, he let self-pity consume him. He sat at the water’s edge, watching the tide come in and out. The rhythm soothed him temporarily, the bright sun forcinghis eyes closed.
Reliving the pain of his past haunted him. But he also saw the hurt in her eyes, and it overshadowed his own sorrow.
Standing and brushing the coarse sand from his jeans, he decided to go to her house.
His pride set aside, he walked into the house, grabbed his keys and wallet, and locked the door on the way to his car. He needed to make sure she was alright.
Pulling up to her house, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her car. She was there. Whether she loved him the way he loved her didn’t matter. He just needed to see her, even if might be the last time.
After knocking and ringing the bell over and over, he slid his phone from his pocket and called Corinna.
“Alex?”
“Hey, sorry for calling while you're at work, but I'm trying to get in touch with Aria. Is she with you?”
“No, she's not. Listen, I know I’m responsible for some of this, but I had no idea you hadn’t told her about not leaving. She needs time, Alex. She was pretty shaken up when she got home.”
“Corinna, it’s my fault. I was going to tell her when her parents decided to surprise her. I just want to make sure she’s alright, just see her for a minute. And believe me, she’s not the only one hurting. Did she tell you that she ended it?” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
There was a long pause before she answered.
“Yes, she told me.”
Pacing on the porch, he asked, “Is she home? I’m on her porch right now. I won’t force her to see me. I just need to know she’s alright. Even though she doesn’t love me, I know she was upset when she left.”
Corinna sighed in the phone and mumbled something he couldn’t make out.
“Give her some space, time. She can’t heal without it. I can’t speak for her. Please understand and just be patient,” she said.
“Space? What do you mean she needs space to heal? From me? All I wanted to do is love her and take care of her! I thought she loved me.”
Corinna sighed and her voice softened as she answered.
“She's, she’s not home. Aria is gone.”
“Gone?Gone where?” Alex begged.
“I've said too much, Alex. I can’t tell you where. She's my best friend and I’ve promised to guard her heart right now. But she’s not in Positano. I dropped her off at the airport a few hours ago.”
Gone.
Airport.
I wasn't enough.
Not bothering to answer, he ended the call and found his way back to the car and drove home.
He sat with his head in his hands for hours in his bedroom. The whir of the ceiling fan threatened to lull him to sleep. He was exhausted in every way possible. But the thoughts that had plagued him came in rapid succession.
I’m not enough for her to fight for.
She didn't love me.
