Love is patient, love is kind.
Ren wasn’t in love with me. Not yet anyway, if I had anything to do with it. But when I held her, I knew this to be true.
I was falling in love with her. Hopelessly and completely.
And even though I was convinced that God was disappointed in the way I’d been struggling, I knew His voice, knew His presence. And He was there with us in that moment, surrounded by friends and strangers.
The speaker crackled, pulling me back to the present, and I heard the nurse say, “Mr. Walker, you can come in now.”
Jumping up, I pressed the wide metal button that swung open the doors leading me back to Grammy.
Niko’s whispered words came back to me.“Just be sure this is God.”
What he didn’t know was how right this felt and how much His presence had given me the confidence to see this through.
The loud beeping machines and the strong smell of disinfectant couldn’t dampen my joy. As I turned into her room, I held my breath when I saw her sleepy eyes open.
“Grammy,” I said softly and reverently as I hurried to her side. I gently grasped her withered, veiny hand and held it, gazing into her eyes with awe. Tears streamed down my face once more as I silently offered a prayer of thanks. I kissed herhand and pressed it to my cheek, watching a slow smile spread across her face.
“Mikey,” she said, her voice garbled and weak.
“Don’t try to talk, please, Grammy. Save your strength. I’m just so glad you—”. My sobs wouldn’t allow me to finish.
“Shh, now. Don’t cry. Can’t get rid of me that easily,” she whispered.
I kissed her hand a few more times, grateful to hear her sassy voice a bit stronger than a moment ago.
“Don’t scare me like that again.”
A tear ran down her face, and I quickly wiped it away. “God’s not done with me yet, Mikey. There are still things He wants me to do. Things He’s promised me,” she said, sniffling quietly, her voice slightly stronger.
“I’m starting to believe you,” I said, part laughing, part crying. “I always knew you had some secret access to Him we didn’t know about.”
She closed her eyes, and I feared she had fallen asleep. I selfishly wanted to hear her voice a little longer before they kicked me out again.
When they fluttered open, she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I scared you, but there’s something you need to know.”
My heart jackhammered in my chest again, but before she could say more, a short, stocky man in a white coat entered. He wasn’t her usual doctor, and my eyes caught the embroidered name on his coat.
Dr. Rueben Thorne. Cardiologist.
I looked back at Grammy, and a shadow of sadness crossed her face as tears she couldn't hold back threatened to fall again. When she looked at the doctor and nodded, I knew things would never be the same.
He cleared his throat, garnering my attention, and said, “Mr. Walker, I’m Dr. Thorne. Your grandmother’s cardiologist.”
All my fears were confirmed. The questions and feelings I couldn’t shake as I watched her weaken each week. Bracing myself, I held onto her hand while giving him my full attention.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I answered roughly, trying to stay composed.
“Mrs. Rose, are you alright with me speaking freely?” he confirmed.
“Yes. It’s time.” Her words did nothing to ease the knot forming in my stomach.
“Alright then. Our tests have confirmed that you’ve had a myocardial infarction, or a heart attack, due to your ongoing issues with congestive heart failure.”
I had no idea how he could stand there with a stethoscope around his neck, his tie askew as if he’d had to rush to the hospital during dinner, and deliver this so matter-of-factly. As if he hadn’t just set off a bomb in this cold, sterile room.
“I-I’m sorry. What?” I looked between him and Grammy, knowing I had to try to keep my wits about me. She was so frail, and I wanted to understand what was happening so I would know how to help her. But the words “ongoing,” “heart attack,” and “congestive heart failure” made it impossible.
