It was why Ian had agreed to help his mom on Sunday, he just needed to get his head on straight. Then his sister had rung desperatefor a sitter because the person she had originally helping was ill with the flu. It was an emergency, so Ian had no issue saying yes.
It all just seemed like the universe was giving him a break from Rick. Only he didn’t want one because things felt unsteady under foot right now, and he worried about what that all meant.
He huffed in frustration and gathered up everything he needed for the evening, listening to the shower turn off. He waited for Rick to appear.
Wet and looking glorious, Rick strolled into the room, not looking at Ian. And though Ian made sure not to stare when he was short on time and getting distracted wasn’t on the cards, it didn’t appear as if Rick wanted a distraction, anyway.
Feeling more than a little miffed, Ian stated in a stiff, formal tone, “You don’t need to come tonight, I’ll go on my own, I know this was dropped on you last minute. I’m sure you’ve had a hard day. Ernest mentioned the tractor was playing up again.” It wasn’t Ernest but Toby, except Ian felt it best to keep his conversation with Toby secret so as not to drop the omega into the mess it seemed Ian had created.
“What… you don’t want me to come?” The hurt flooded through their bond before Rick could shield.
Ian met Rick’s gaze, hurting him was the last thing he wanted to do. “Do you want to come?” he asked, because really, they needed to be honest with each other to move forward.
There were several beats of silence before Rick slowly nodded. “I do.”
Ian’s heart soared at the sincerity pulsing between them. “I’ll be downstairs waiting.” He swung out of the room, not hovering when his mate was naked and very distracting. What was a mate to do?
They were on their way not much later and got to Maisie’s home twenty minutes before the designated time as Ian wanted baby cuddles before they were to put her down for the night.
Ian enjoyed the quiet, uncomplicated time with the baby. Sweet and adorable at this age, it was his favorite.
When he came back downstairs Rick was resting his head against the couch, eyes closed, but he wasn’t asleep his shoulders were too tense. He looked… sad.
Now or never.
“Do you think we should talk about what’s on your mind?” He sat next to Rick and waited for him to slowly pry open his eyes.
“I… the weekend… it’s… honest… fuck,” Rick grabbed his hair tugging it as he rose and paced in front of Ian.
He sat back and waited for Rick to gather his thoughts, and there were many floating around his head.
Ian caught the one about him not congratulating him. He stiffened and then kept following his mates' messy thoughts.
He did get why Rick was upset, except he failed to miss the point that Ian was terrified Rick would change his mind despite saying he was done, as he’d said that before. Ian needed to be honest.
“Before you say anything, I just want to say that my anger came from fear you might want to change your mindagainabout the bull riding. I felt how much you enjoyed it, and were thrilled by it. I get why folks do it. I just hate for you to get hurt.”
Ian was proud of Rick’s accomplishments. Just it was tarred with a fear of losing something precious—Rick.
When his mate’s head tilted to one side giving him a look of consideration, Ian took the bear by the paws and continued. “I’m very proud of your accomplishment. I couldn’t be prouder of what you achieved. The problem is, it wasn’t all I could see in the moment. All I couldthink about was that I would lose you to that big bull. That he would trample you beyond recognition. It was all I could see. Fear. It took on a life of its own and consumed me. I have never been so scared for another person in my life. You mean everything to me. But you did something worth celebrating, and I took that from you, and I’m very sorry for that.”
Rick slid off the cushions and sank down onto his knees in front of Ian to tug his legs apart and slip between them. He came forward and kissed him softly. It wasn’t passionate a more soft whisper of affection. A soothing stroke of lips reaffirming the bond between them. He sighed his pleasure into Rick’s mouth as he deepened the kiss.
“I’m sorry. You said again, what did you mean by that? I can’t seem to stop messing up,” Rick breathed against Ian’s lips.
Ian cupped Rick’s jaw and held his gaze. “It’s both of us. And you said at the Bucket List event, you would never do it again. How am I supposed to believe it when you have already changed your mind once before? We need to be honest with each other. I should have told you I was scared and upset that you didn’t stick to what you said before. Then it might not have been such a shock when I lost my shit.”
Rick’s chuckle eased the tightness in Ian’s chest. “Bull riding was such a big part of my life. I loved it for a long time.” He shook his head. “No, don’t get me wrong, I don’t wanna go back. I meant what I said to Charlie in front of you, for real this time. I am done.”
Ian held Rick’s gaze, seeing the truth, and that little slice of remaining terror that had clung to the idea that Rick could change his mind, slipped away. “Tell me about it, your past.”
By Rick’s wide grin, he could see it was the right question.
He got up and sat next to Ian, slinging an arm over the back of the couch looking relaxed. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
Three hours later, Ian raced into Rick’s house, tearing off his shirt, not stopping as he flung it aside to take the stairs two at a time, hearing Rick give chase.
