‘I hate the dark to this day. And if not for Hugh, where would I be?’
‘Happily married to a suitable man instead of pining away for years in vain hope. I thought you were over him?’
Alice slipped out of her shoes and placed them closer to the fire. ‘I am.’
‘Then why are you defending him?’
She raised one foot to the fire and revelled in the warmth seeping into her toes. ‘Because, despite what he has done, and despite the fact I’m no longer in love with him, he does deserve some bit of kindness.’
‘Truly?’
It was all lies—lies, lies. She was in love with him and he didn’t deserve kindness, but she had to continue her story.
‘I was scared witless after being left in that well. When Hugh came and fought them off—’
‘Getting his nose broken in the process,’ Elizabeth interrupted.
‘I was so relieved.’
‘And that relief manifested itself into some strange infatuation until you thought yourself in love with him.’ Elizabeth stood and paced the room. ‘It was childish, making that vow to marry him.’
‘I was six!’
‘But you made a vow. It didn’t matter what age you were. You were always stubborn, always headstrong. You have never broken a vow, never backed down from a challenge. I always feared the moment you vowed to marry him you would stick to it even if you did not love him. Or that maybe you would fool yourself into loving him simply to fulfil your vow.’
Alice looked down. Steam rose from the bottom of her dress. This was not the conversation she’d wanted. Defending Hugh was a mistake, and had only alerted Elizabeth to her true feelings. She needed to change the subject or else she’d never fool her sister.
‘Aren’t you curious what happened to me at Court?’
Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded her head in agreement.
‘I noticed men and women talking...laughing. Together. It reminded me of you and John. It was...painful.’
Elizabeth bit hard on her lip, her hands tightly clenched in her lap. ‘I did not know you felt that way.’
She didn’t. She had always been happy for her and John. If there had ever been an occasional wish that she could be as happy, it had been quickly pushed away so she could concentrate on her projects.
She turned her back to her sister and thrust her feet and hands towards the fire. ‘I didn’t know I felt that way until I was at Court.’
‘Curious that you should feel that way in London. It’s not as if loyalty and love are in fashion there.’
‘Maybe they seemed happy. Maybe I simply saw what I wanted to see. Maybe I want to be married.’
The squeak of the bed ropes and the flutter of her sister’s dress notified her that Elizabeth was moving closer. Alice rubbed her hands and hunched her shoulders forward to hide her features. She felt Elizabeth’s eyes trying to prise the truth from her profile, but she didn’t dare look at her.
‘You could borrow a gown of mine if you are so cold.’
Did Elizabeth suspect? She couldn’t,shouldn’tlook at her sister. ‘No, I’ll warm up in a while.’
‘You’ve turned down so many proposals...’
‘I know.’
Elizabeth turned her attention to the fire and rubbed her hands briskly. ‘But I believe there are a few of those men still available.’
Alice nodded her head. Even if Hugh hadn’t been behind her reason for refusing those marriage proposals, she wouldn’t have married any of the men who had applied for her hand. But they were the ones she needed to gain information from.
Elizabeth sighed. ‘Alice, are you serious about this? Is this how you truly feel? Look at me.’
