‘Don’t say it.’
‘I love you. Always have—’
‘A childish vow, and it has no place here now.’
It was something she had heard all her life. ‘Did you see it that way? My vow to marry you? Did you take it as something childish?’
He stepped away from her then. And another step. ‘How could I ever see your vow as something childish? As merely a whim? If it was, I had the same one. If I had been worthy of you I would have said it myself.’
Happiness. It could only be happiness flooding her fast and making her strong. She wanted to run to him.
‘Back then you would have said it?’
‘Then, and always.’
Her lips curved. ‘But I was a child.’
‘Even so...even then. I was an outcast, and because of it I could see how fiercely protective you were with your family. How you took animals in to shelter them.’
‘I don’t remember...’
‘How could you not, when your arms were full of the puppies you kept dropping?’
She laughed. Despite everything, she laughed. ‘Then why...why did you reject me that day?’
‘Haven’t we gone over this enough? I wasn’t worthy of you.’
‘But I told you—you were. I’ve explained it.’
‘I appreciate that now. I didn’t then. But it doesn’t matter.’
Of course it did, it had to. The room was dim, almost black, but she saw it in his eyes. That never ceasing storm.
‘I still have to die, Alice.’
She felt terror at the mere words. ‘No, you don’t. I won’t let you.’
‘This isn’t something you can fix. Your family is in danger. It is better my life than—’
She rushed to him, placed her hands upon his chest. Felt his heart beating as hard as her own. ‘No!’
‘It’s the only way to fix it. Don’t you think I’ve tried to find another way? Since Lyman’s party, that’s all I’ve been doing. But there isn’t. I have to save your family and save you.’
‘I couldn’t bear it.’
‘Let me,’ he said softly, solemnly. ‘Let me bear it.’
Tears ran down her face and he brushed them away. Kissed her forehead, her cheeks, kissed along her jawline before pulling away.
She put her hand against his face, held it there. The room’s shadows were making it hard to see him fully.
‘It’s dark in here,’ he whispered.
‘Yes.’ She could barely see him. But she felt his gaze all the same. Felt the heat of his skin and knew it flushed his cheeks.
‘I didn’t realise... Is it too much?’ he asked.
She was overwhelmed with what she felt. ‘Yes.’
