Was it possible that Hamish knew Rory was his son? If so, he needed to get as far away from her as possible.
‘Save your seducing words, Lochmore. They are unnecessary. Leave now and there is nothing permanent between us. All can return to as it was.’ She turned her head to catch his eyes which had impossibly darkened and held emotions that weren’t there before. She wasn’t prepared for them. A banked heat, a longing, a thwarted rage.
‘How was it?’
Caught in the turbulence of his eyes, she answered, ‘Last night?’
A soft huff of breath from him. ‘Your past.You want to return to it as it was...but I know nothing of it. How can I know it was better?’
‘It’s not for you to know.’
‘Then tell me.’
She didn’t need time to think about the answer, but she tried. Yet nothing in this room or from the muffled sounds above would change the truth. ‘It wasn’t better.’
‘You know of my hell. Paiden is my very dearest friend. He is a brother to me and I am terrified to lose him. I know you know this because you’ve seen it from the very first. You tried to shield me from your clan in the Hall that morning when he collapsed.’
‘And you held a sword to my neck.’ When he had been filled with so much powerful anger and anguish she’d felt it, she’d instinctually protected him. The end result of that was pain and uncertainty now. ‘It doesn’t matter how I felt then. You made it clear last night what your feelings between us are. Didn’t you say, this is how it should be? So let it be, Lochmore, and leave me alone.’
His left hand clenched in a fist. ‘You know my burdens, I don’t know yours. Perhaps if you shared yours... Why won’t you share them?’
She turned her head, her back remained to him. She didn’t have to answer any of his questions. ‘What will it prove?’
‘Nothing, except... Nothing.’
It was Rory’s hesitancy, his revealing of vulnerability that pricked something within her though her defences were up. What was it? Perhaps it was Rhona’s story. Or perhaps it was the time they’d spent together or that moment where he’d seen her hiding when he arrived in the courtyard? Whatever it was, it compelled her. This man compelled her. She fought his demands, requests and stubbornness. But in the end, there was a part of her that wanted him to know. That part she had no defence against and so she told him.
‘I had a friend once who was like a brother, though why we were close I don’t remember,’ she said. ‘He was the least sensible friend I could have picked.’
She kept her head down, but could no longer touch the papers that were blurring around her. Lost in the past, defenceless against unhappy memories, she didn’t want to remember Magnus, that day or what she lost. Because as much as she loved and was loved by her clan, other than her father, she never dared get that close to someone again.
‘What happened?’
Rory’s deep voice jarred her from thoughts. Exhaling, she said, ‘You already can guess.’
‘I want you to share this burden with me.’
His voice was closer, she felt his breath. For a flicker of a moment, she thought to argue with him, to tell him to move away, but Magnus deserved to be known...even if it was by this man. ‘Lochmores reeved. Magnus charged out to stop them and was trampled by horses. I was there with him when he let go of my hand. I saw and heard everything. His sharp cry, the crunch of his bones. He didn’t...he didn’t die immediately.’
Rory cursed, but she didn’t care for his emotions. Only for hers and she felt too much. ‘I’ve hated the Lochmores since that day. I hated you for coming on to the land and dining at our table.’
‘But you married me.’
She pushed the papers off her lap, grabbed another scroll. ‘We’re not—
‘We said our vows. You said them and meant them.’
She ripped the ribbon around the parchment. ‘We were before Clan and God.’
But Rory knew the truth, she did it to save lives because she cared. This woman hadn’t lied to him; she was incapable of it and he had treated her wrongly.
‘Are we done now?’ she asked. ‘I have more to read and you are in the way.’
He watched Ailsa open the scroll and read the contents. She did her best to ignore him, but he was incapable of ignoring her. He wanted her, this woman, this wife, but again he asked himself, could he chance it?
If he confessed the facts to Paiden, what would he say? That he was a fool...no, Paiden would use a more colourful insult while also challenging him. Paiden most likely would want Ailsa to himself. Any man would. But after he treated her the way he did, did he deserve her? ‘I don’t want to leave.’
Ailsa lowered the scroll and finally, finally, looked over her shoulder and up at him.
