Nodding, Daddy stands and gently places me in the kennel, handing me a bottle and going back to his desk. Even though Itold Daddy I wanted to have him feed me like before, he hasn’t done it since.
This is one of the reasons why I haven’t called him Daddy yet, or don’t fully trust him. He heard me ask him to do this, but he has decided to ignore them. Do I really mean that little to him?
“You can take a nap if you want. I’ll wake you up when we are ready to leave,” Daddy gently says.
I roll onto my side, facing away from him, and start suckling on the bottle, my eyes closed. My mind wanders as I lie there, drinking.
He must really not want me anymore if he spanked me and gave me a bottle, only to leave me alone. If he really cared about me, he would have held me longer and fed me in the way I like.
Is it practical to feed me that way? Absolutely not. It would take him too long if he did it, but I don’t care. It feels intimate, and I want that with him. I want to feel close to him and like I actually matter.
“Is she doing okay?” Albel whispers.
I keep my eyes closed and my breathing even, not wanting to alert them that I am still awake. What are they going to talk about while they think I am asleep?
“She was just being naughty. I think she was testing me to see whether I would go through with the spanking. As much as I don’t want to punish her like that, I had to. I needed to show her that she couldn’t walk all over me,” he quietly replies. “But she is doing okay. She was exhausted this morning, and seeing her friend and being told no didn’t help. Once she takes a nap, she’ll be better.”
I hold my breath and stop myself from saying anything to him. He doesn’t know that I’m awake. But the longer I pretend to be asleep, the more tired I actually feel.
“I want her to fully trust me, but something is holding her back,” Daddy says.
“Do you know what it could be?” Albel asks.
But before I can hear Daddy’s reply, I get pulled into a slumber, falling fast asleep.
TEN
I look at the bars of the kennel, taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. Daddy has been gone for some time. I don’t know when he is going to come back. Will it be soon?
I miss him.
I never thought I would think like that, but I miss Daddy. Even when we went to the office, he was in my line of sight all but twice. And now… Now he is gone, and there is no way for me to contact him or figure out when he is coming back.
At least Daddy could have put his picture somewhere, so I don’t feel so lonely. I don’t like this.
The feeling of doubt slowly creeps in. What if he never comes back? What if he decides to leave me here and has someone else come pick me up to send me back to the space station?
I should never have gotten comfortable with him. I should never have started to believe his words about wanting to take care of me and make sure I am happy for the rest of my life.
It was all a lie.
Sighing, I lie back down and snuggle into the blanket. Maybe if I fall asleep, I won’t miss him as much. Maybe time will pass by faster, and when I wake up, he will be back in the apartment and will pick me up right away.
“Get yourself together,” I whisper to myself. “This isn’t the end of the world. Everything is going to be okay. You just need to make it through this.”
I told myself that Daddy was going to be the one to suffer if he left me alone in the apartment and went to do something, but I was wrong… so wrong. I’m here suffering all by myself, wishing that I had gone with him instead, but I just had to be confident that I would be okay here alone.
“Never again,” I mumble as I close my eyes.
A loud, blaring noise goes off in the apartment. I scream and look around. What’s wrong? What is going on? Everything looks normal in the apartment. The alarm continues to sound, and my eyes dart around the room, but I can’t see anything out of the ordinary.
“Daddy?” I call out, hoping this is some sort of prank and it will be over soon. “Daddy!”
But he doesn’t come out. Placing my hands over my ears, I try to block out the sound, but it’s still very loud.
“Fire. Please evacuate through the stairs,” a robotic voice instructs.
Tears well in my eyes as I lurch forward, yanking on the kennel door, trying to get it to open. But of course it has to be strong and won’t budge even a little bit. I let the tears fall freely from my face as I pull and push at the kennel door.
