“I just need you to tell me nothing happened,” he says quietly.
I stand and turn around, letting the tears finally fall. I’m only so fucking strong. His arms circle me, and I sob into his chest. I swear it's a normal occurrence for us at this point. I’ve lost count of how many times in three days he’s held me while I cried.
He holds me tight. “Ember, I am doing my best, but I am losing control of my composure.” He tightens his arms even more around me.
“I just had a memory visit in my dreams last night, and it ruined my mood,” I tell him softly. I don’t want him to worry about me, even though it seems inevitable.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, loosening his grip and looking down at me.
I shake my head because I have to open the store in just a few minutes. We walk out front, and I flip the lights on as we go. Lighting up the store gives me just a little bit of happiness. I hold a small smile.
“Do you think Mrs. Philch will mind if you have a work buddy today?” he asks in a teasing tone.
“She probably won’t mind you being here, but she’s not going to pay you.” I laugh out loud before walking to the front and turning on the switch to signal we’re open.
Harley follows me through the store, watching me do all of my bookkeeper duties. Finally, everything is done, and we’re ready to take customers. As expected, no one is here, and since it’s raining, I'm almost positive it'll be a slower than normal morning.
I head to the back to grab another chair, but Harley stops me.
“What do you need? These muscles can be put to work.” He hikes his arm up to flex his muscles, and I throw my head back and laugh.
“I was just going to grab a chair so you can sit with me,” I tell him.
He turns on his heels without another word and heads for the back. “The black chair work?” he calls out.
“Yeah that's fine,” I call back to him. Seconds later, he’s marching out with the chair held in his arms. He sets it down to the side of the checkout counter.
“I don’t want you to get in trouble for having me behind the counter,” he states before plopping down.
I grab the books from the Barter Stack and check them in. It’s kind of like our own library. I love seeing what people bring back for the next person. Harley watches me silently as I work, letting me do what I need to do. Once that’s done, I flop down in my chair, leaning my head against my propped arm, and look over at Harley.
He’s already watching me. “Can I hold you, just for a minute?” he asks. I thought he meant to hug me, so I stand up and hold myarms out, but he snags my hand and pulls me into his lap. His arms go around me and I relax. This is definitely better than just a hug.
I close my eyes and soak in his smell. He smells like his cologne with a hint of coffee and rain. Honestly, there isn’t a better smell than that. He kisses the top of my head.
“Do you want to tell me about the dream?” he asks, his face pressed against my chest, his arms wrapped firmly around my body.
I let out a breath. If I said no, I know he wouldn't push me. But I feel safe with him, so I let it all out. As I'm talking, I stay cradled in his arms, not wanting to meet his eyes because I'm ashamed and scared of how he’ll react. I feel him tense up and suck in a breath at the worst parts.
Finally, I get to the end of my dream, and I go lax in his arms. He doesn’t say or do anything for a couple of minutes, and I get nervous. I sit up and look at him—his eyes are absolutely feral.
“Did you ever tell anyone? About what he was doing?” he asks calmly, despite his eyes telling me he’s anything but calm.
I let out a breath and hunch down. “No. At the time, I assumed it was normal,” I tell him. “I just figured that’s what women did.”
He’s shaking his head. “No, Ember, that’s not what women are supposed to do.”
I get to my feet, feeling dumb and defensive. “I know that now, but I was fucking sixteen at the time.” My anger is sending my walls up around me.
Harley gets to his feet, pulling me into a hug, and I know he’s not mad at me—he’s mad at the situation, and the other party that was involved.
“Do you still talk to Levi?” he asks. I laugh because it was a wild switch in topic. I guess not too wild, though, since he was in the dream.
I walk around to the front of the counter, messing with the little filler items. “No, we kind of lost contact. He came by once after the baby was born, but he graduated earlier than the rest of us, and went on to college almost immediately.” I smile, he always knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he was smart enough to do it.
Harley comes around, leaning his hip against the counter. “I was always kind of jealous of him.” He bites his bottom lip, just slightly, and my eyes shoot up to meet his.
“What?” I tease him. “Why?” He laughs, letting his head hang.
