I loosen my grip just enough to pull back and look at her. Her eyes are bright and happy.
She has no idea what is going on.
“Mommy is such a silly billy,” she says as she takes my hand and pulls me inside. “She forgot to close the front door. Anyone could have walked in.”
My eyes sweep the apartment. Warm afternoon light pours in through the windows as I take in the overturned coffee table and the dark stain of spilled coffee on the carpet. But I also see the other things Larissa didn’t notice. Like the split timber in the doorframe from the door being kicked in, and the small smear of blood on the wall near the doorway.
My stomach twists.
“I tried to clean up the coffee for Mommy, so she doesn’t have to when she gets home,” Larissa says, leading me to the coffee stain on the carpet. Beside it is a stained dishcloth. “But I couldn’t get it out. I scrubbed really hard, Auntie Leo.”
“You did a good job, baby.” I force a smile that takes everything I have. “That was really thoughtful of you.”
Silas stands in the doorway. His poker face is in place as his gaze moves over the apartment, absorbing every detail.
“Pack her a bag,” he says. “She’s staying with us until her mom gets back.”
I look at him, and despite the sickening uncertainty of what’s happened to my best friend, I’m hit with a feeling of love so powerful it almost knocks me over.
“Larissa, guess what?” I crouch to her level and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re going to come have a sleepover with me.”
Her eyes go wide. “A sleepover? Really?”
“Really.”
“For how long?”
“For a little while. Until Mommy gets back.”
“Yes!” She bounces on her toes and claps her hands together. “Can I bring my coloring pencils?”
“You can bring whatever you want, sweetheart.”
She takes my hand, and we walk to her bedroom to pack a bag. She chatters the whole way about which stuffed animals are coming to the sleepover and which ones have to stay to guard her bed. And I am so grateful. She clearly doesn’t know what happened here today or that her mom is actually missing. In her sweet head, her mom is simply being forgetful.
While we pack her unicorn backpack with clothes and stuffed toys, Silas remains in the lounge room and makes some calls while he looks around. He’ll be looking for anything that might give him a clue to what happened here this afternoon.
A new wave of fear crashes into me, and I want to cry because I know something terrible has happened to Nessa. But I tell myself to be strong for Larissa. She’s humming again as she stuffs coloring pencils into her backpack, and for her sake, I can’t afford to break. I need to focus on getting Larissa to safety and protecting her as best I can.
Only then will I let myself wrestle with the question that’s eating me alive.
Was Nessa kidnapped because of me?
43
SILAS
The kid falls asleep in the back seat before we’re three blocks from the house.
One minute, she’s clutching a stuffed teddy to her chest and staring out the window as she chatters nonstop, and the next, she’s out like a light.
I glance in the rearview mirror. She’s tiny and curled into herself on the back seat, and something sharp and angry tightens in my chest because it’s often the innocent who pay the price for the evil men do. Like this kid. But also, all I can think of is my niece, Alexis, and that protective edge snaps into place all the same.
I look at Leonore in the passenger seat. Her face is turned toward the window, but she’s not looking at anything. She’s chewing her thumbnail as if it’s the only thing keeping her from going insane right now. It’s like I’m watching her all over again, the panic when I saw her packing her own bags. The fierce spark was sucked out of her, which worries me, because without cool calculation, accidents happen. And I know she will do anything to protect those she loves, which makes her dangerous to herself. My raven is certainly the type to stand in front of raining bulletsfor those few she loves, and I intend to ensure she doesn’t have to put herself in danger in the meantime. If Nessa and Larissa are her family, then they’re mine as well.
I plan on fixing this.
I have people who find people. The kind who can locate a man in under six hours using nothing but a name. And the name I’m giving them is Ben.
